done whining for now....

I decided I dont like it when I whine,lol.

I am still not thrilled w/ how I am being treated at work, but knowing that other people noticed my plight helped my attitude about it.

I might still like to have a relationship but in the meantime, I am going to enjoy eating chocolate poptarts in bed and being in charge of the remote. I am going to enjoy the quiet, the being able to put myself first and be selfish if I feel like it. At least... I am going to try,lol.

I spent a great weekend w/ Josh... who decided to spend an extra day at home w/ me. We made chorizo potato and egg burritos together ( fun... I miss that) and he took the leftovers home. When he got out of the car he said "Mom... thanks for everything, especially these leftovers." How stinking cute is that?

I'm at work now, 20 mins to go... looking forward to getting home to watch my dvd that just arrived from Netflix...Quincy MD Season 2.

whining

I do not like how I am being treated at my job. However, I love my job and want to stay... what a conflict... for now, I am going to try to ride this one out... things change fairly quickly there.

In my personal life... no change. Not a man w/i miles,lol.

Again, there is more conflict. I am perfectly fine single, and I remember what it is like to be w/ the wrong person... no way, no how do I want to do that again. I can eat in bed... control the remote, do what I want/when I want... and I try to remember that when I am feeling down.

But I want someone in my life. I do not "have" to have someone. Everywhere I look, there are couples. When I get off of work, there is no one to tell about my day. When I want to go to the store, I go alone. When I am having a problem, it is all mine,lol. I do everything...alone. It is getting a little lonely.

I have a couple of really good girlfriends for the first time in my life. I am still very happy/feel blessed about that. But... its not the same.

I keep hearing married women say how lucky I am to be single. I also keep hearing that he is out there somewhere... where, dammit? lol. My eyes and heart are open.

I am also totally disgusted at the number of 20 yr old men, and married men that want to "hook up" ugh!

Anyway... since I always like to end on a positive note. I am thankful to have a job to be mad at. I am so very thankful for my health insurance. I am thankful not to have mental illness ( at least I think I don't,lol). I am thankful for a working vehicle, a full refrigerator, a new purse and new ipod speaker thing, and awesome sons. I am thankful I am healthy enough to be able to walk into work today, and that I can still type and do all of the things I need to do today.

Hope everyone is having a day where they too, can count their blessings.

Lisa

baking up a storm!

I have the bread machine going ( homeade soft pretzels) baking chocolate pb cookies, and have some pork in the crockpot for pulled pork. I have no idea what I am going to do w/ all this food...but it seemed like a good idea at the time,lol.

Monday I took a day off of work, and had a great day scrapbooking and purse shopping.
I am not into purses at all... but I "needed" a new more professional bag for work, that would hold my classic size franklin covey planner...plus you know... camera phone, etc. So, the franklin covey store isn't too too far from the scrapbook store, and I got lucky that the one bag I had been eyeing online was on clearance... so I loaded it up w/ all my stuff ( just to make sure it would fit, and I could lift it,lol) and brought her home.

Spent some time w/ the boys... Josh is actually home visting all week this week before returning to reality...good to have him around!

Have a great and safe rest of the week!

I promise I am not anti-social

but I had the best day at home, all by myself...not having to go anywhere! It was awesome. I got a few things done, but mostly I just relaxed and only did what I felt like doing...which was...
1) watch lifetime movies (X2)
2) scrapbook 3 pages,reorganize my alpha stickers and put away some chipboard alphas
3) made about the yummiest peachy applesauce I have ever smelled/tasted
4) backed up some computer files and messed around on the internet

I also did a couple loads of laundry, did the dusting and cleaning out of the fridge.All that is left tomorrow is the vacuuming, a couple of shopping errands and more relaxing,lol.

hope you are having a great weekend too!

life is good today

love that song... toes, by zac brown band...

anywhoo... worked 21 days straight. That is a lot,lol. My body and mind are mushy. Payday will be a happy one.

update on the friend who happens to be a boy... he will be staying a friend, although a good one.

I have the next 3 days off, and I have big plans to do as little as possible.

I am going to visit my mom on Tues, and she is going to color my hair. When I called to invite the boys, I said "Josh, I am going to Grandma's on Tuesday, would you like to go?" w/o hesitation he says... "Oh yes, I have no clean clothes" LOL- apt laundry is horribly expensive, and since I normally take a couple loads home w/ me when I visit, and I have not been able to visit, I have Josh running around the big city in unclean clothes! Hopefully by now he has done at least 1 load somewhere.

I am hoping to do some scrapbooking and movie watching tomorrow... just "chillin" as the boys would say.

I had a new friend over today, who is the mom of 5 kids. After our visit she says "It was really nice just talking w/o kids" lol. I know exactly what she means,although sometimes I think it gets a lil quiet here.

life is good today

back in the saddle....

I am feeling more like my old self again here as of late...

Some things for me to remember...

for the very very first time in my whole adult life I have a best girlfriend. I am soo soo happy about it. She is very supportive, but direct/honest like me. I love her!

My kids are doing so well. Very proud of them still.

I am only sorta, kinda, talking to/spending time w/ a friend who happens to be a boy... and who is also very supportive of me.

My bosses' boss seems to think I am doing a really good job.

just lots to be thankful for... blessings to be counted.

quick update

The fridge was kaputz... it has now been replaced and even made it to the grocery store,lol.

My sons are doing really well... living on their own. It is weird to go to their house and follow their house rules,lol.

I asked who cooks... Josh said "Well, I like living here... so I do it" ( this is in reference to Joels inablity to cook, as well as how dangerous it is for everyone involved). Josh then went on to say that Joel does other chores while he makes dinner, like taking out the garbage or "whatever I make him do" lol. FYI- Josh is the younger brother.

Im having some work problems, and some social/man type problems, but mostly doing pretty well.

I have gotten increasingly lazy lately... watching a heck of a lot of TV.

Started doing a little better at shopping and cooking for one...

This weekend brings my 42nd birthday, Joels 20th birthday and my nephews 3rd birthday. Good Times!

UGH!

This is really a not so good day!

I went to visit a friend in a town about 45 minutes from me last night. That went good/fine...whatever...

Anyway I get home in time to let the guy from Direct TV in ( as my satellite in my family room is not working... first ugh)

to find that my refrigerator is not working correctly! Everything in the freezer part is cold, but defrosted, and everything in the fridge is not so cold. So, now I am trying to figure out whats going on there.

I did things that I can think of and am now trying to see if any of them work,lol. If not I guess I will have to cross that bridge. Thankfully I have a deep freezer and my boys had been here all week, leaving the fridge almost empty anyway,lol.

Going to be trying to enjoy a 3 day weekend... starting today, as soon as the satelite guy gets everything working!

Have a great and peaceful weekend!

Lisa

notice the big poofy hair

and please, please remember it was 1993... lol Josh squirming around on my lap... joel acting like the monkeys... a great day to remember. We were talking last week about going to the zoo, and josh says... "Mom... you could force me to go to the zoo when I was little... but not now" Apperantly he has different memories than I do... funny how that works. I drug him crying from the zoo several times when he did not want to leave.

Other than my house, the zoo is my favorite place in the whole world... and I dont get there as often as I would like. I think I need to make it a goal to change that.

Tomorrow my Uncle David, my parents, sons and hopefully my sister and her family are getting together for the first time in a lot of years... not sure how many... My Uncle lives in IL, and rode his motorcycle out here... in August... guess he was really wanting a visit huh,lol.

I was really really proud of my teenage knuckleheads when they asked "what time are you picking us up to go to Grandmas?" I had sort of assumed that they probably would not want to spend a weekend day hanging around w/ old ppl... but they are looking forward to it too! I'm still learning so much from them, and about them.

Yesterday is history, Tomorrow is a mystery, Today is a gift... that's why it's called the Present... Have a great Today!

flashbacks

June of 1994... Josh was 3, Joel 4.5... very close way back then too.

Today they came by to visit, do laundry and pick up a few more things. Where one goes, the other goes... the whole time they were here, they were in the same room as the other.

We ate the requested biscuts and gravy... they helped me w/ a few guy things that needed to be done around here.

It was a great day! I'm already looking forward to next Sunday when I can see them again.

Work is driving me crazy. I figured out I love my job but hate working where I work, if that makes any sense. What I am going to do about it... I'm not sure...

It is hotter than heck here in az...just polished off a pint of Ben and Jerry's Coffee Heath Bar Crunch Ice Cream!

This tikiman has been Josh's for several years now. Now that he has moved out, it sits in his doorway. He decided that everyone who comes into his apartment should rub his head, for good luck and good karma to all who enter....

yes, I follow directions and rub its head when I visit.

so sorry computer issues here....

Well, lots goin on around here at the farm,lol. My youngest moved out, and in w/his brother so... i have an empty nest.... except for these critters and the dogs.

I have been doing just fine except last night. I went to visit them, and when I left I was pretty sad. When I am at home, or out and about, I am fine w/ the whole deal. I am just so very proud of both of them, and they are doing good.

My puter is not, but I have a plan of action now,lol so hopefully this weekend I will be back in business.

It is hotter than heck here... but I guess that is to be expected when you live in AZ.

Will attempt to do a better blogging job,lol.

whoops!

Been awhile-huh? lol...
I have been pretty busy, and i am having a computer issue. Spent Memorial Day weekend in Flagstaff at my parents cabin- awesome awesome awesome. I promise to show some pictures when I get this machine running properly...

Joel finished his soph year at ASU- still doing well, of course still proud as heck w/ him. He is going to stay in the city this summer.

Josh is doing well too- lots of different irons in the fire... will have to update

Im doing pretty good... have an apt w/ a specialist at the university medical center- just to make sure we are doing all we can for me health-wise.

Anywhoo- gotta run will update more later...

Peace,
Lisa

Happy Mother's Day

Today was an awesome day! Both my sons remembered to say "Happy Mother's Day" to me this morning. I spent the morning in bed, dozing on and off and watching Lifetime Movie Network. Now I am at work, helping other people. Awesome, I tell you, just awesome!

Counting down 11 more sleeps until I go up north to my parents' cabin for 5 glorious days!

Happy Mother's Day to all Mothers out there!

Lisa

Papa, Shawnie, Joel and Josh

I have always loved this photo. Its from 1993- a lifetime ago it seems. My father in law, "Papa" as you have heard me refer to him- wanted to take Joel and Josh to the airport to watch the airplanes. During our school break, we went and had a super day, as you can tell by these smiling faces. This was a very happy memory for me.

Papa talked about it for years to come as well. My sons have long since forgotten this day- I think its about time I take out this photo!

The weather in AZ is getting hotter. Josh is enjoying his new church. I have been out on a few dates w/ what just might be a nice guy,lol.

I had my eval at work- I guess they are going to keep me around for another year.

My ankle is mostly better, still kinda funky looking.

Today I did a lot of scrapbooking, and tonight I am going out for karaoke- great day!

work...

Two days before this picture was taken ( at our work apprecation party) I was walking into my job. I walked right past 3 people, said hi, and not even one of them stopped what they were doing to look up and reply. These are people I have worked w/ for 2 years. We depend on eachother.

So I started thinking back to a conversation I had had w/ another friend from work, about that same topic. Feeling invisible. Would anyone even notice if I wasn't there. I don't think I am irreplaceable- but I am unique, different, no one is exactly like me blah blah blah. Would anyone care at all if I was no longer employed there. I vowed that day, to do a better job of letting the people who mean something to me, know it.

And then, here we are at our work appreciation day. Our supervisors care if we show up ( lol). This happens to be a week dedicated to recognizing 911 dispatchers... so several people from our police fire and ems departments took time to acknowledge the work we do. Some even stopped to talk to me specifically about things I have done for them, or that they have noticed/felt during the past year.

So, I guess feeling sorry for myself was as silly as it felt,lol. I need to remember that every other Friday I am thanked for my work, and that I need to do my part in recognizing others and making sure they know that I care about them.

Lisa

Dude

This is my son Joel's dog, who we got after I ran his other dog, Buddy over in my Suburban.

We got him right after Dude,Where's My Car was released. Dude was Joels favorite word... it began every sentence. He even called me Dude.... occasionally it was "Dude,Mom" but usually just Dude. ( that was if he wasn't calling me coach... but thats another blog entry altogether.)

He loves this dog... and now that he is at ASU Josh has kinda had to let him start sleeping w/ him and all of that.

One interesting thing about this dog is he never wants to lay his face on the same level as his body... as evidenced in this typical photo of him.

We love you... Dude.

my middle name is not Grace

Before you say... I so did not need to see that... I assure you that is not the worst picture.

I was walking down my steps to go to work, and cut my ankle on a piece of pottery. It was/is pretty painful... even for a tough chick like me,lol.

Our ER wasn't that busy... so I was in/out in under 90 mins... w/ 6 stitches. When leaving they advised me to keep it put up and stay off of it. My darling son starts getting annoyed w/ me, because my plans are to head to work after dropping him back off at home ( and changing shoes,lol). He says "Mom... if you were my kid... you would not be going to work" I am still laughing over that one.

For the record... I did go to work after, its not like I have to run around at my job or anything.

It is feeling better today so far... and the "wound care specialist" says it is looking good.

Tip of the day... watch where you are going!

going in......

I took 3 days off work, well... 2 were my weekend,lol i just added a day. But the plan is to clean/organize the closet and paperwork... finish my taxes... hopefully i come out of the closet ok,lol...

Then, I am bracing myself for some crazy times at work for the next 2 weeks. I just keep reminding myself that it is only for two weeks,lol.

Anway- i love other peoples before and after pictures but I am way too embarrassed to post my before pix. So, I will post my after pics.

Ok... going in.

Josh's 18th Birthday

Here we are.... Josh is now 18. All my kids are adults... at least legally,lol.

We went again, for Native New Yorker hot wings,lol- love those wings! Dina, Max, my parents and Joel and I were there to help him celebrate.

18 things I love about Josh-

He is kind.

He is thoughtful.

He is truly good to others, especially people who have challenges in their life.

He is good to animals.

He can get along w/ almost anyone- all different types of people.

He reminds me that not everything is serious.

He knows how to have fun.

He does what he thinks is right w/o regard for others' opinions of him/it.

He has overcome some personal challenges and is doing just great!

He has an amazing relationship w/ his brother. So close and so good.

He always says "I love you, Mom" when hanging up w/ me or leaving the house.

He can always find "what stinks" in the house w/ his supersonic nose.

He doesn't judge others.

He is an awesome cook.

He is honest w/ himself, about himself.

Even at 18, he still discovers new things as if he were a small child, with wonder and excitement.

He is always trying to learn new things.

He is so dang smart- and doesn't realize it yet.