Papa

This photo is from the mid 90s, I think 1995, not sure really. Its a picture of Josh and his paternal grandfather. After my sons were born, he was known to just about everyone as "Papa". Papa was a good kind man, who valued family over everything else. He really enjoyed fishing, camping, riding quads/4x4. He was always up for coming over for dinner, going out for a quick snack or just doing the regular everyday things.

He and I shared a birthday, that was pretty cool.

He lost Joel once, in a store, before Joel was even walking ( don't ask, I still don't understand how it could happen) and 2 years later he lost my dog. I never let him watch anything again,lol- even though I found both my son, and my dog.

After the boys' dad and I divorced, he and I stayed close, I still considered him my FIL. He was still there for the boys, went to as many activities as he possibly could, and always had time for their phone calls. He even, from time to time, listened to me vent about his son. He was an amazing man.

He passed away suddenly a few yrs ago, a great man gone too soon. There are just no words to express all he did for me, and my sons during his time here.

Joel and I were going through some scrapbooks the other day and Joel, a boy of few words, and even fewer feelings said simply "I wish Grandpa was still here"

Me too... Me too.

just so you don't think i am on crack

heres the picture referenced in the post below,lol.

flashback

This is a pic of my sons back in Dec of 92. They loved the zoo as much as I did back then. This tractor was in the childrens zoo area and it was important for us to visit and take a pic each time we went. Good Times, good times.

I only got to the zoo once this summer. It is hard to go when it is so hot and this summer I have been working nights so that kinda complicated things also. I am hopefully switching to days in the not to distant future and w/ the weather cooling off I plan to visit it often, if for no other reason than it is a good place to walk.

I have been doing a lot of organizing lately, organizing photos on my computer, as well as files and actual pictures. I have even organized my scrap area and I could scrap there if I so desired,lol. Maybe next week- I am too pooped from the organizing part,lol.

ipods and little update

My ex, after realizing that although i would let him stay here, that I was not a bank decided that this is not the best place for him to stay (lmbo). So, it is over already and w/o any ugly. I guess he did have somewhere else to stay after all,lol.

I had decided that 2008 was going to be the year that the Browns moved into the era of technology. I know, most of you are already here,lol it sometimes takes me awhile to catch up.

I got a new computer, ditched dial up and now we even have ipods. I think we were the last three people on the planet to not have an mp3 player, with the exception of my parents.We are all 3 in love w/ ours, and now I am on the hunt for a good speaker/dock. There are so many choices, I am overwhelmed,lol.

Joel is getting ready to go back to ASU, Josh is going to take GED classes and stay in his online highschool program ( I know, I know. But no dropping out allowed here- if he passes I will let him stop going to high school,lol) All three of us are working ( me a little too much, josh just right and joel a little too little,lol) and have lots of good stuff going on.

I started reading Photo Freeom and am obsessed w/ this organizational method- so thats taking up a lot of my spare time.

And- I went to the movies w/ someone. Pretty exciting in and of itself,lol lets see what happens here.

drama, karma, kindness

My life has not been without drama, but as of late, I have spent my time attempting to create a drama free life. I have done a pretty good job, especially considering I have two teenage boys.

Some drama entered my life today. My kids dad has found himself w/ no where to go. We have a long history, most of it not good. We met at 15, so that was 25 yrs ago. I will save the long story of why the marriage did not work. Since we have been divorced, he has been shall we say, less than kind. When my second husband and I decided I should be a stay home mom, he called me lazy and every other possible name in the book. He is months behind on child support. Now, here he is on my doorstep, thousands of dollars behind on child support, asking for me to support not only the two kids by myself, but him too. He is not working and at this time has no prospects. He has a total of 4 children.

He did not even have the gas money to get to my house. That he borrowed from Joel, my oldest son.

People sometimes think that I allow people to walk over me. Thats fine, they can think that, and surely I have been taken advantage of.

I say it takes a lot more strength to be kind to someone who has given you no reason to be kind to them, than it does to be mean. I say tonight when I lay my head on my pillow- I can sleep knowing that I was a decent human being.

That said, I am already supporting two kinds and myself and have no desire to support a man. ( If I was interested in that, I would at least choose someone who was going to give me some benefit,lol.)

I decided to let him stay for a bit. This does put a cramp in everyones style. It may not work very well at all, it could get ugly. It could also be ok. We just don't know.

I guess we will see, drama, karma, or kindness.