a little better

So, I did end up talking w/ dh again, and he is going to go to the doc and see what if anything is up. He said he sure does not want me miserable. He is a good guy, so I really should not let myself get so worked up.
This morning we had my and Joels birthday celebration, it was the only time we could all get together, so my family came down( they live about an hr from me) and we went to IHOP. They sang to Joel and I, and we got birthday Sundaes. Josh was thrilled- breakfast is his fave meal of the day and we hardly ever get to go out to breakfast.
It was awesome! My BIL could not make it ( whatever dude) but at least my sister came. We had a ball. Joel drove us to and from the resturant. That is just so nervewracking- I am just not cut out to teach him to drive.But there is no one stepping up to help out, so I HAVE to do it.
Then Joel had to work, and we are hanging out at home this afternoon, watching the weather channel about this gigantic hurricane katrina. Chris just listened to our messages and our neighbor called and is giving away a pool, did we want it. Chris went down to check it out- gosh that would be awesome. It is an easy set one, so chris said he would put it up today- woo hoo!

josh and school

Really going well so far, I am beyond thrilled. His teachers are all wonderful. I hope that I am still saying that half way through the year,lol.
Josh is doing well at home too. He has a best friend now. Things are really going well for him.
I am frustrated w/ my dh and have been for some time. I am going to start "venting" here, as a way to help myself decide what the heck I am going to do about my feelings.
I have talked until I am blue in the face. If I push it, he "needs some space" and goes off to a friends. If I tell him and don't push it he says that he did not really think I was serious. I think he knows I am serious but that he is always going to deal w/ it later. I think he is depressed.
I also think that our problems are things that could be fixed. Maybe it just seems easy to me, maybe he really can't make himself do what I need, not sure. Maybe the issue is me. Maybe I expect too much.
Tonight I was upset because although he agreed to go to the football parents meeting w/ me( which I have to admit is a lot of progress) He wore a holey, stained undershirt again, despite knowing how much I want him to wear a shirt. He did not sit in the meeting, he kept getting up and walking around, going in and out, and on the way home he was in the worst mood, being all pissy and when I asked him what was wrong he said " I could be at home right now watching stargate".
Instead of doing something important to your family? You honestly would rather be watching tv?? OK then,lol. I dropped it at that point, there were other kids in the car and I was beyond pissed. I don't understand that at all. I am lonely in my marriage, and I want my kids to know that you go to football meetings, that you dress in a way that does not embarrass your family and you don't tell them on the way home that you could have been watching TV. Is that too much?? Why can't I see the glass half full, like I do w/ almost everything else. I want this stuff not to bother me, but it really does.
Anyway, this is officially going to be a negative blog for the next few days at least, I am going to be writing down all that bugs me,lol.
Lisa

comments

Can I have some comments please? lol. Even if you can't say something nice. Wait, that is prolly bad to encourage that.
I love my kids' friends. I never would have imagined that I would actually enjoy the company of teenage boys. They really are gross, disgusting creatures. I wanted girls so badly. God really knew what he was doing though. Over the years I have realized I am really not a girly type person.
When my guys were small, I loved them, and enjoyed every stage of development. I still do, although it surprises me each day how much. It never occured to me that by having two boys, that I one day would have a housefull. Neither of them bring home girls as friends, only gross smelly boys.
But ahhhhhhh I love it.These kids are all great kids. Most are athletes since that is what my boys are into. They are good students, for the most part. One thing that I always notice is that they are good, really good to eachother. They shake hands when they see eachother. They back eachother up and don't hesitate to help eachother. They are all so respectful of me. I deserve it, I am supermom, but still. Teenagers and respect don't always go hand in hand, even under the best of circumstances.
The car rides home from school/practice are the best. I am forever laughing. I need to remember(or write down) the funny things they are saying now. I did not do that when they were small( not a scrapper then,lol) and just realized today, that what I am laughing at today, I can enjoy after they become adults.
Since I am not ready to discuss that, I am going to stop for now,lol.
LIsa

quite the adventure

So, today, I would have loved to just relax. But that was not in the cards.Joel had to work, and Josh's friend wanted to come over, and I had grocery shopping blah blah blah. After dropping Joel off at work, he called me almost immediately that he had to work 3 hrs extra.
No problem, I tell him ( grrrr I hate changing plans,lol) so I decide just to get Josh's friend and head back home. On the way home on our two lane highway, we got stopped because of an accident. It must have been horrific, two helicopters, two ambulances, lots of police officers. Took a minute to pray for them, and then saw the sherriffs telling us we had to turn around.
So, we head back toward town, and the sherriff was detouring us down a dirt road that runs along the highway. Everyone took the detour. Lets just say that was a very bad plan.
It was very sandy, and people started getting stuck. The recent storms really changed this road. I made it a long way- I used to go off roading a lot and those skills really came in handy. There was almost an accident between a couple of other guys and pretty soon there were only a few of us not stuck. My boys were helping, as were most of the men, to get all 20 some cars just one more mile down the road. We had come so far! Turing back was not possible because of all the cars that were stuck behind us.
We persevered, and made it though. It only took 2 hrs to go 11 miles,lol.
I have to go back and pick up Joel, I am hoping for a little less adventure.

oops I did it again

bought another cup. Hopefully this is "the one"
Today was a day. It was pouring and I was wearing flip flops. I was trying not to "flip flop",lol. I had a flat tire. I had 2 gallons of milk in the car. I was soaking wet,lol.
I get home and have to get all soaked again getting the groceries in. I just put away the fridge stuff and then crashed out on the couch for the rest of the morning.
The rest of the day was great, I went to get the boys, had a fun time in the car. I am the best mom because I show up w/ snacks in hand,lol.
I got my planner organized yesterday and I made some goals. They did not work out today, but tomorrow is a new day, so I am looking forward to getting started on them.
I am scrapping w/ Vivian and LIsaD tomorrow at scrappers garden. Lisa and Vivian are jonsin' for Chic-fil-a so that is where we are going for lunch. I am working on Joels baby book( redo), and pages for a photo swap. I am going to look at the Artic Frog stuff while I am there to see if it speaks to me, they are looking for people for their DT.
Well, I am off................................

shopping

Used to love it. I loved power shopping, window shopping, any kind of shopping.
Now I don't love it so much.LOL
I get tired way before my kids run out of money.
My kids are different types of shoppers. Joel loves it. He checks out all the stores, then goes back and gets his fave things. He is always looking for a bargin, and loves a good buy.
Josh is a grab and go type. Today he even saw a shirt that he liked, on a shelf right next to the floor. His size was not on top so he decided it was way too much work to look for his size so he moved on. LOL how lazy is that?
We have this mall, that is the kids' favorite. Lots of the stores are the outlets, and prices are pretty good. The mall is in a circle, kinda weird to me. We went around the mall twice today.
I sat the bench quite a bit today,lol. I got to people watch. Some people really dress up to go to the mall. Some were wearing slippers. My kids look so different from eachother. I love people watching!!
Well, I am falling asleep here, so I will have to write more later.

Whats new??

Well, last week, I ran and ran and ran. I eventually ran myself into the ground. It has taken 4 days for me to feel better. I was swollen at every joint, had a fever, and could barely walk. It was NOT fun.
This week looks better. Joels work schedule and sports schedule is slowing down, so less driving for me. School starts Monday, omgosh.
I had a mini run in w/ my ex today, and I handled myself beautifully. I would not engage him, he wanted to upset me, he really kept trying. When it did not work, and I told him to call me back another time, he flipped a switch. I just told him I had to go. It is too bad for the kids. They wanted to see him this weekend. They think he is the coolest thing ever. I just do not know what to think. Is he like this because he is nuts, is he not wanting to be responsible ( they wanted him to take them school shopping, and I also wanted it since I had paid all of the fees at the school and got all the football equipment paid for), or what?? I wish I could figure this out. I need to take my own advice. You can not make an illogical situation logical. It is not going to make sense. Now I know why people hate it when I tell them that.
Josh's meds are really really working. He is a really happy kid. The true test will be when he starts back at school next week. That is always a source of tension here. I am really hopeful.
I have been scrapping quite a bit this week, hopefully I stay on a roll. I have a crop w/ some friends on Thursday. Looking forward to that.