"half full"

I was watching Becker one morning. In the show, Dr. Becker gets shot, taken to the hospital. He is complaining about everything. I think to myself, I realize he just got shot, but geez really? Everything is not horrible.

Then, his secretary Linda comes to visit. She tells Margret " He is so lucky, people are bringing him meals, taking care of his needs etc". Margret, with an exasperated look on her face says " LINDA- HE WAS SHOT!!!" and Linda says "oh...yeah"

I remember thinking, I need to be more like Linda. Not forgetting if people get shot of course lol, but in seeing the good in even bad situations.

I am currently going through what I consider to be a bad situation, and I am having a very difficult time seeing the good in the situation.

The actual thing that happened didn't exactly happen to me, it was a call I took at work, that was particularly difficult. I had a physical reaction to the call, which is very unusual for me. I reported that to my supervisor.

I reported it again, and again and again. And even again. I eventually sought help on my own, even though we have 2 fabulous programs through my employer. No one was listening, and I was struggling. The more I said I needed help, the less they listened. Until I finally lost it lol.

But then, it was kinda too late. All of the people who have "done me wrong" have apologized. They recognize the error in their judgement. I want to not be upset, but I am. Because I am still upset, they are mad.

I want to "Linda" this situation. People have more awareness now. People have examined their protocol. People have apologized. I felt alone w/ this call, when in reality I was never alone in the first place. People believe I am strong and can handle this ( and any ) situation. Apperantly, although I am upset, this is true because I did handle it. I am strong.  I have spoken to coworkers that I have a lot of respect for, who have taken the time to describe me, to me. I have really enjoyed hearing how they see me, as a person/employee.

But for right now, I am still Lisa. I have seen people pull together for other coworkers, when they have taken what I perceive to be lesser calls. I have seen the entire department pull together for them. I feel less than. They did not have to handle it alone. I did. Even though I spoke and spoke and yelled and yelled I still had to handle it.

As a woman of faith I just have to try to believe that everything, this call, its outcome, happen for a reason.