ok- it's time!

This will probably be the longest post in history- so make sure you have a favorite drink, and that you have a comfy seat!

There have been many things happening to me lately, that for various reasons I have had to keep under wraps. I am going to start at what I feel is the beginning and go on from there.

A little over 2 years ago, my husband had a very serious heart condition ( he had an ascending aortic dissection- the condition that killed John Ritter). He almost died, and was hospitalized for a little over two weeks. At that time I found out that he was drinking heavily and also smoking.
( Neither of these cause this heart condition, however they made his recovery much more difficult) There are a variety of reasons that I did not know he was drinking/smoking, but I suppose that is another post and not really relevant to this story.

He came home from the hospital, participated in physical therapy and the other parts of his recovery process, and returned to work.During the time he was home, we went to marriage counseling and I believed we were on the right track. Kind of a second chance at life, so to speak.

That did not last very long, and by the end of that first year, he was again drinking heavily. I was "paying attention" this time,lol so I caught it. I again got him to go to counseling w/ me, but he would not go alone, and tackle his alcohol problem.

Around that time, he was diagnosed w/ a couple of other medical problems, again not related to alcohol, which really is to his detriment since he now believes that I am the root of his medical problems, and since alcohol is not the cause, it must be good for him.

I dealt with this the best I could, continuing to try to support/help him. After about 6 months of that, I realized that I am not going to be able to fix this- I am going to have to save myself/my children.

I begin a job search, since during my marriage I was a SAHM. Do I go back into teaching( which I love more than almost anything, but was difficult w/ my own health problems) or do I look for something that will pay a bit better and possibly not have the physical demands of being a preschool teacher.

A friend of mine is a 911 dispatcher, and after toying w/ the idea of it, and deciding how it would work w/ my children, I decide to apply.

My husband gets upset- why am I doing that, etc. I was honest w/ him that I am protecting myself/my children, in case he is unable to get it together.

He starts to "get it together"- at least on the surface. Again, this is very short lived.

The process to become a 911 dispatcher is long. It is taking forever,lol. There are tests, checks, and lots of delays.

A couple of days after New Years ( now we are in '07,lol) I get a knock on my door. It is the Sherriff telling me that I have 15 days to leave the house I had lived in for the last 10 years. This house was not a dream house to most- but I loved everything about it.

It seems my husband had decided that he no longer wanted to pay any bills. He wants to be free from all responsibilty and have lots of money to "party and invest in the lottery". I am now left to find someone that wants to rent to someone who has just had a forclosure ( thankfully the loan was not in my name and thus not the forclosure) and move my life to another place.

I found a nice place, and was able to keep all of my animals ( I have some livestock, in addition to dogs)and am still in my kids' school district, and am fairly settled in. I am beginning to like it here. My kids like it here- and are feeling good that the stress and drama has left our lives.

Finally after much waiting, testing and such ( I even had to take a polygraph,lol) I was officially offered my job, and will be starting on Monday. I had orientation this week, and am happy with the benefit package and the cost of said benefits.

This has been a rough ride for me, but I am feeling good about where I am headed and what my new life has in store for me. Thanks all for reading this, and for being good friends to me, even when you had no idea what was happening in my life.

whaddareyagonnadoaboudit?

It has been brought to my attention that I am a bad blogger. I would totally agree w/ you, but that is not my nature.
I have so much to say, but I can't yet. Once I have the go ahead- I will be able to tell ya'll everything. Then you will be wishing that I would shush already. I promise. Trust me. It's good, and worth the wait.( OK I dunno about that part but it sounds good.)
Take care... until next time...
Lisa

just a wee update

I got a call today from the commander of the police dept I am hoping to dispatch for. I must have given a wrong address for a reference, so I had to go get the right addy and call it in. He said that is all we are waiting on, and since I don't have any concerns about his reference- I am really starting to feel good about this!!
I was getting worried and applied for two jobs on friday that were in my former field ( early childhood ed). I would prefer the dispatcher job, so hopefully that all does work out, but I felt like I needed some eggs in another basket so to speak.
all right- one of my kids is bugging for thier turn so I am off!

okee dokee

still here,lol.
Still not working, but progress is being made. I know they have checked references, and I have not recieved a thanks, but no thanks, letter. From my experience in working w/ goverment agencies- they are pretty slow,lol.
I have needed the time anyway, to get some other things settled, so like they say, everything happens for a reason.


I am excited that spring is almost here in az. I have been walking around my yard, trying to decide what is next on my project list.


I have been good about getting rid of things lately. Almost every day for the past 2 weeks I have taken at least one box to goodwill. I will probably have a yard sale once it warms up, and donate what doesn't sell. Then, what a great feeling I will have to only have the things I need and love around me- instead of all the packrat stuff I have been saving for who knows what reason,lol.


My favorite dog of all times, Taz, is getting old. He is 12 now, and still occasionally has bursts of energy and runs around like a puppy, but for the most part, he is really showing his age. He is having trouble getting up the steps to the porch.His hearing is not as sharp as it used to be. He wants to lie on my feet all of the time- he follows me everywhere. He is annoyed at our lively basset hound's non stop energy. I love this dog.


Today, Josh and I are going to my moms to get my hair colored, and to visit his favorite paintball store. I am going to go to bookmans too- with two boxes of books in hand,lol. Bookmans is the best used book store ever. They take books in trade, I usually end up spending more than I earn, but lately, while on my decluttering mission, I have racked up quite a store credit- fearing that I will have to dust one more book if I bring it home,lol.
Joel, being of sound mind and independant body- thinks going with Josh and I to grandmas sounds like a form of torture, so he isn't gonna go.

when life hands you lemons........

make lemonade! That is the month,year, life I am having right now,lol. I am struggling w/ some things, but I feel more mentally healthy than I have in a long time. Lots of changes happening in my life. Change=stress for me. However, each and every one of these changes will be for the best.... at some point.

On the job front, things are still progressing, I have a polygraph scheduled for next week. If I haven't mentioned it, I am just completely and totally freaked out at the idea of taking this test. I don't have any reason to be freaked out. Hopefully I rise to this occasion and just do fine.

My oldest son Joel has been busy at work practicing his "lawyer skills" He debates every issue. It is less than wonderful,lol. He is becoming independant and has lost his desire to be part of this family and help out. He and I are identical souls and hopefully he comes around sooner than later.

Josh, who on the surface seems like he could care less about others, on the other hand has been the most supportive wonderful person around.

Take care!

Ho Ho Ho

Merry Christmas!

sorry to keep you hanging............

I don't really have anything to report. I feel like I did OK on my interview, and I did pass the required tests. There are more openings than applicants so things are looking good for me.
I am subject to a background check ( not worried) and a polygraph( worried).
This process will take around two weeks, so hopefully not too long after christmas I will be starting.
There is a lot of stress in my life right now, I'm not really getting into christmas this year. This is my oldests last christmas at home and I just can't "get into it". I am into it enough for him, he has pretty low standards,lol.
I am going to force myself to put some of the stress aside tomorrow and try to get something pulled together,lol.
Have a good week everyone!
Lisa

hey there

This is what Josh does while he is at work. He got shot a lot of times last weekend- he has circular welts all over him!

He has been getting quite a few hours at the Paintball field, and one of the owners has him doing construction type jobs at a house he is building. Great experience! Their work Christmas party is Friday night- we are pretty excited.

I tested for the 911 dispatcher position in my neighboring city and the Indian Reservation nearby. I have an oral interview ( the second step) w/ the Reservation tomorrow morning. I bought a new blouse for the occasion,lol. I have not worked in 4 years- this is pretty exciting. This will be life altering. I have never done anything but teach preschool. I was great at that, the hours were great. I could do it in my sleep,lol. This will be very challenging and the hours will be something I am not used to. I am also not used to the kind of money they make,lol. ( Several dollars an hour more than teaching paid) Hoping that balances it out.

It's getting cool here in AZ finally, although I had to use the A/C in my car a couple of days ago,lol. 

oops............ here I am.........

I did write a post right before thanksgiving, and who knows where it went,lol. Anyway, here's what's up.
We went to Munds Park ( 20 miles south of Flagstaff) for the Thanksgiving holiday. We left right after Joel got out of school on Wednesday and stayed till Sunday. It was a glorious wonderful time. I really enjoyed the rest!
There were, of course a few tense moments. We had my parents, my sister, her husband and baby, and the three of us. Add 5 little dogs to the mix and you can imagine........... There were people and animals everywhere.
Some stuff I never want to forget:
The AH-HA moment my mom and I had...........
The fishing time my BIL spent with my guys.
Saturday afternoon, on the couch for hours with my mom watching Lifetime Movies.
My AH-HA moment while watching When A Man Loves A Woman.
Taking my mom and sister to the LSS in Flagstaff.......... and my mom deciding that she is sure she will never scrapbook because she would never have any extra time or money. ( LOL, yep, that's about right)
Cooking the usual Sunday breakfast...... Biscuts and Gravy
...trying to explain clinical depression to my dad........... he's not going to "get it"
my two trips to Sonic for the best drink ever.

When I got back, I got "laid off" from my babysitting job. The dad got switched to PT and now, for now I am not needed. I really enjoyed sleeping in this morning,lol.

I tested for the 911 dispatcher job. It was a 2 hour, very long test. I think I did OK overall, but there was one part that I really sucked at. I sure hope they don't fire me already. I would really enjoy that job.

Anyway, back to a full 5 day work/school week. Reality.

exciting news!

Joel's football team won the region championship. This has not occured in over 50 years, so our whole town is excited. The kids get championship rings, and someone is taking the whole team to disneyland,lol. A lot of whoopala over sports, I think, but neat for Joel.
I am exhausted, the game was in a city 3 hrs each way from me. I am pooped, just pooped I tell ya.

Tomorrow my sister and I are going to the Phoenix Zoo to look at the new visiting stingray exhibit. I am looking forward to seeing that, and my new little nephew on his first trip to the zoo.

not much going on here..............

I went to Joel's second to last football game friday. It was in Yuma, which is 3 hrs from where we live. That makes for a long, tiring day, but I really don't want to miss a minute of this.

Good movies on Lifetime today- wish I wasn't still tired from friday,lol. Every time I lie down to watch I doze off,lol.

Josh is playing in a paintball tourney today, waiting on the call to go pick my smelly boy up.

getting laundry done, dishes, more decluttering, setting myself up to scrap tonight...........

Having pizza for dinner, we have been missing our pizza fridays a lot because of football. Everyone is going to be home tonight for pizza, and maybe a movie.

Peace out...........

Joel

Joel taught advanced diving to ONE student this summer,lol. Anyway, it was his favorite class to teach this year- here were some of the photos.
 

I love guiding light

I decided to blog about my fave ( well, it is the only one I watch) soap- The Guiding Light. Of course it is silly to watch these shows. But........ but......... but.......... I love it. I have been watching since I was 12 or 13. The Guiding Light is the longest running show of all time. It started on the radio, and has been on TV since the beginning of time ( ok, since the beginning of TV). My mom watched it w/ her mom, and then, I started watching w/ my mom. When my boys were small, I did not watch it, prolly for 5 years or so, but other than that I really try not to miss it, and now tape it if I am going to.
Some of the story lines are downright stupid, or actually even aggravating. I have cried at weddings, funerals, trials/sentencings and all, as if they were my real friends.
Some of my favorite charachters-
1. Phillip Spaulding ( grant alkesander) best all time - can not be replaced. I had a huge crush on him as a teen.
2. Reva Shayne Lewis- don't like what she is up to right now, but she's the best
3. Johnathan Randall- aka- the man I would leave my DH for. He is the hottest thing ever. 5 minutes.......... just please, let me have 5 minutes,lol.
4. Gus Ituro(sp) another hottie, if johnathan won't have me, well, I could settle for gus. Stay off the pills though buddy.
5.Josh Lewis- another great looking guy. I don't like his SL right now either, but usually love him.
I miss:
Maureen Bauer
Phillip
Nola/Quint
Jenna
and Phillip....... did I mention I miss him and think he is the best??

IRL- My exfreakingidiotbleepbleepbleep husband is an idiot. OK, carry on..........................

alrightythen

There is a conspiracy going on. I am not sure how many are involved. There is a conspiracy against me getting 8 hrs of sleep. During the past week, each one of the members of my family, and even my pets have gotten together to make sure, that night after stinkin night- I don't get to sleep.
These cult like tactics have made me sooo crabby! I told the whole lot of them, that if I do not get a goodnights sleep tonight- I am going to a hotel!!
Not much new here- I am too tired to do anything exciting, or even keep up w/ stuff,lol
Lisa

the favorite things about my boys

Joel:
likes himself and cares about what happens to him
makes friends easily and is a good friend
is loyal to me and to his brother
is good to animals
takes care of his own business, at school/work, etc.
likes people, has a genuine interest in them and what they have to say
stands up for what he believes in, even if it is not popular
is a huge part of his team, even though he is not the superstar. He always works the hardest. He is always happy for others when they do well.
is able to be honest about himself

Josh:
is fun, and funny and reminds me to relax
loves animals
is loyal to me and to his brother
makes friends easily and is a good friend
is very very helpful
is very hardworking
is an awesome cook, and likes to try making and eating new things
he loves pillows and comfy squishy blankets
is very easygoing
is able to be honest about himself

Sedona

Here are, as promised, some pics of my Sedona trip. This church is so beautiful, it is built into the red rocks of Sedona. We had lots of fun that weekend, shopping and eating, and best of all- resting. We had a great time in the hot tub, Josh worked out in the weight room at the hotel, too.

One funny story is about the "Blah Blah Guy". As we were walking around in uptown Sedona, we saw a guy who was sitting on a bench, playing a guitar. As we got closer, we could hear him. He was singing "blah blah blah........ blah blah deblah" As we walked away Joel said " I guess he doesn't have a lot to say" LOL.

Joel, who loves loves loves his cell phone was constantly checking his reception. He would announce " I get good reception here............. not so good here" It was funny, I guess, but it kinda drove me nuts.


These are some photos of the gorgeous landscape. When you are in Sedona, you are completely surrounded by mountains, and of the red rocks. People come from all over the world to see this beauty. It was kind of fun to hear all of the different languages people were speaking uptown. Joel was only impressed that his phone still had 3 bars of reception, even in the middle of this mountain. Josh and I just rolled our eyes and laughed. Anyway, it was a hoot and we hope to go back soon! 

still trying to find the bottom of the pile...............

I am starting to work on unloading some of my book collection on half.com. I really love books, but I am overwhelmed at how many I have, so I really don't look at any of them. Make sense??
Well, starting slow here, but you can find me at half.com, username teacherlisa2. I think the boys are going to sell some video games and we will be listing a ton of vhs tapes also, so keep checking back, if you would.

Things are going ok, I have made some decisions and I always feel better after I have made them, rather than being indecicive and having things up in the air.

The weather is cooling off, so I am enjoying some gardening time, and I have started walking. I am waay out of shape and a big huge wuss, but it is a start.

This picture is of Joel, my oldest, when he played football for the first time. He was a bit disappointed that it was only flag football, but, truth be told, I was pretty happy that it was.

Another new milestone happened this morning. I asked Joel to pick up something for me for the first time while he was in town. Big guy, growing up.

hanging in here

I am facing some tough decisions in my life right now, so if you have any spare good thoughts- send em my way- OK?
I am ok, I will be OK, I am just struggling a bit.
Thanks!
LIsa

almost ready.........

for our weekend trip. I have to hit WM one more time, I decided to get a couple more rolls of film and some snacks for our room. My boys are like infants and need to eat every two hours you know,lol.

As for my goals, well, most did not happen,lol so on to next week!

I saw a great idea in CK a couple of months ago, think it was ali edwards, who put together a mini album before her vacation, and took it along. I am doing that for our day trip, and kind of excited about it. I used colors of the southwest, and die cut my own book covers and pages and tabs etc., at the LSS the last time I went.The kids of course think I'm nuts to make a scrapbook before we even have the pictures, but what do they know,lol.

I am trying to get the house clean before we leave, I hate coming into a messy house.

Guess while I am motivated I should get moving- I will post some great sedona landscape pics when I get back!

looser blogger that I am

I seem to go in spurts, updating every day, but then disappering,lol.
I did complete all of my goals, which is funny, since I had veen feeling like a lazy butt who got nothing done.

My kids won their football games this week, pretty cool there.

We are planning a trip to Sedona next weekend. We have been needing a little time away, but with everyones' schedules, it has been impossible. I just told everyone we were going- make it work! I got us a really nice room, because we are going to be spending a bit of time at the hotel. Usually if we go anywhere, I get the cheapest room,cuz why pay all that money just to sleep. This time we are going to enjoy the room and ammeneties and just lie low, relax, or chillax as the boys would say. We are going to go on one hike ( ok slow walk,lol), visit Talaquapaqe ( not sure if I have spelled that correctly), which is a shopping center made to look like an old mexican building. They have lots of boutiques, fancy shops, more really for window shopping, but I love to look at work by local artists, and there are some really pretty places there I want to get pics of. Sunday morning we are going to head into downtown Sedona, which is lined with more shops and places to eat. We are mostly window shopping but Joel and I have some birthday money to spend,lol. I am hoping to get some nice landscape photos, too, the red rocks are gorgeous.

setting some goals for this week:

1.get to sams club and buy sheet protectors/get LO's in albums.

2. finish altering my planner, go to lakeshore for the laminating I need.

3.get that bookshelf organized and dusted.

4. get to work on the front planter instead of just writing it on my to do list,lol.

goals for next week-

I need to get my potting area back in shape,after our last storm, and before our fall planting season starts next month.

I need to get some straw under my pumpkins.

I need to get my videos/dvds organized- they are really bothering me.

I have a basket of magazines I need to go through- and then, hit the used bookstore and goodwill w/ what I don't need.

I need to get my trunk organized- I have two football games this week and it is a PIT!

I started reorganizing my scraproom, but did not finish, gotta do that.

Pain

These are my thoughts on pain........

Pain is invisible . No one can see it. You can't "know" that the person in front of you in line, struggling w/ her purse, cards, pen- whatever, isn't experiencing intense pain with each movement. Give her a break.

Chronic pain can be depressing. I hurt somewhere every minute of every day. I am not complaining, I can still walk. Most days, everything works and I can get through. Most days, everything does not hurt, just something. But just knowing, that each and every day, something is going to hurt, and you really can't predict what is going to hurt, and plan ahead, can be depressing.

With that said, I handle myself, and my pain pretty well. I look on the bright side, do what I can, and try my best not to get upset at the things I can't do. I am getting better on allowing people to help me when I need it.

There are a couple of kinds of pain that I usually do not have, headaches and backaches. ( I know, Kristie, I thought of you when I started writing this,lol) If I have either of these, I crumble to pieces. I deal w/ worse pain, in my joints all the time. But a headache is just so- right there. You can't use a different joint, you can't adjust, the headache is there- all up front and in your face. It is a constant annoyance. And your back, well, it is holding you up,lol.

This morning I have a headache. I know what it is from, and I am embarrassed to confess it is from not drinking enough water. DUH! So I am working on it this morning, hopefully it will be gone soon. It is all in my face, if I had to be nice to people it might be difficult. I actually can see this headache in my eyes, so maybe not all pain is invisible.

Today is my run like a chicken w/ my head cut off day. Tonight is football.
Hope you have a great day!

Yesterday...........

all my troubles seemed so far away.............................
Just kidding, well sort of. Yesterday, I took off and had a great and fun day. Went and cropped at the LSS, got some work done for some pages I am doing for someone- whew almost done there! Found some stamps I "had" to have as well as quote unquote 4. I love that series, and use them all the time now, that I am scrapping mostly teen picures, and well, they don't talk so I can't quote them.

Today, it is a snap back into reality. All of the stuff I do during the day- did not happen yesterday.IF anyone wonders what I do, well just look around today,lol.

So, today, I am going to get the house in shape, get some laundry done and hopefully get some time to scrap. I feel good, so hopefully that feeling lasts until it all gets done!

boo hoo

School has been in session for exactly 5 days and I miss my kids already,lol. I have not, like I said in my last post, had any time to be bored, but I miss them.

I am babysitting in the morning before they go to school, so I don't see them off to school, my dh does. They come home from football tired and ready for bed. I am looking forward to this weekend, maybe I can catch up w/ them then.

I am going to my LSS tomorrow, I need some paper to finish up a job I have been working on, and then I am going to grab bagels from einstien bros ( yum if you have never had them) before coming home.

Good news, Savers is coming to my town! Savers is just about the best thrift store ever. Once a week they have dollar days, and so it just gets better! I am really looking forward to them coming, I try to visit their stores in PHX when I go.

We had a crazy storm last night, lost a tree and a window ( insert sad face here). It was pretty scary, lots of wind, hail, flooding. Joel and Josh were in one car, in town, and chris was in another. They were not able to make it and for awhile I did not have contact w/ them. It was scary!In the end, we replaced the window, everyone got home fine and the tree was cut up, and put in our burn pit. Could have been lots worse.

Thanks for reading!

speaking of football..............

I did this LO the other day, as many of you know, I am out of photos of my kids,lol.
I am doing a Book Of Me, and right now, this little cooler is a big part of my life. It gets carried more than my purse. It holds everything necessary for me to enjoy a football, baseball or paintball game. I even take it with me when I pick up the kids from school. They are thirsty and starving RIGHT NOW, and don't want to wait the 25 minutes until we get home. Sometimes they are on the run from one place to another, and don't have time to stop.

This cooler has made me the "cool mom" cuz I always have food and water for all the friends that my kids promise rides to. It is amazing what effect cold water and a little debbie snack have on a teenager.

Of course it is blue, my favorite color, and one of the kids' school colors. Of course my camera fits in the outside pocket. And, of course I had to buy different reusable ice products until I got just the perfect ones. Chris thinks I am sick, between the quest for the perfect cup, the perfect cooler and the perfect ice. Naaah, I just want what makes me comfortable. 

am I ready for some football?

not really,lol. It is still 105 outside at 5:15 and I have to leave soon for our first scrimmage game. I do look forward to it, because despite my last post, most of my social life revolves around my kids' sports.

We are expected to have a good season, which would be great since it is Joel's senior year. I blogged a bit about this last year, but our school has had loosing seasons for the last 40 something years, and that prompted a coach change ( ya think??) and a change to another region( meaning we play some different schools).

I do look forward to the photo opportunities as well,lol.

I am still waiting for a peaceful day, or a day where I get bored. Everyone keeps telling me that they are coming, w/ both kids gone all day.

I have had some time to scrap, and my decluttering mission is coming along, so maybe that is what is taking up my time. Now that Joel is driving I am not spending 4 hrs in the car anymore,lol.

The friend thing w/ Josh has sort of worked itself out, he is very busy w/ football, and thus other football players become your friends.Not saying that football players don't make mistakes, they are teenage boys, of course, but they have their head on the game, passing school etc.
That will take care of first semester,lol- we are going to have to take this a day at a time, especially since I have NO idea what I am doing here.

Well, hopping off of the computer is in order- I have a football shindig to get ready for.

my fun night

So, last night, I was feeling lonely, and so very sorry for myself. I had wanted my kids to go to the zoo with me, and they bailed. I decided to go ahead and go alone. I headed out, and found that the road out of town was flooded out. I took the detour( 50 extra miles, ugh) and then, was on my way.
I got there a bit later than I had wanted to, but the animal talks that I did get to see were totally worth it. I learned all sorts of things about the animals that I did not know before.

After the zoo closes, I decide to go to karaoke. I love love love karaoke. I pick up a New Times magazine, choose a place and go there. ( New times is an alternative type paper. They make fun of the Arizona Republic, Sherriff Joe, and they love trash and scandals. However, they have the best listing of what is going on)

I get to the front door, and it looks scary. I hesitate to go in. I mean, I can always go home, go to my regular place, anything, but going into a scary looking place alone. I decide to go in. It was weird in there, but not scary. I order my usual ( diet coke in a small pitcher) and look for a karaoke book. I notice a few same sex couples, and start looking around just to make sure that there are some heterosexual people there- that I did not miss the memo,lol. Ok- whew there were.

The gal sitting next to me asks " Are you here w/ someone?" My stomach sank. I have no idea how to handle that situation. I do not want to offend, and I am so scared to say the wrong thing. God must have helped me out cuz I said that my dh was at home.

My impression was wrong, she was there alone also and just wanted someone to talk to. She was absolutely interested in all the guys in the place,lol. She turned out to be someone I have a lot in common with. She is also in education. She works on the reservation near my hometown. She is a great singer and enjoys karaoke as much as I do. We had a great time.

The place was full of interesting and fun people- I really enjoyed it. It was not really smoky, everyone was nice. I think I will head back there next weekend.

time to update

although, I am stumped on as to what,lol.

It is hot here- still making me feel like I am a sloth this year. I am still babysitting in the morning, which I'm sure does not help, but I really need to get over this unmotivated slothy fatigue I am having.

Joel had a ball at football camp.ha ha I made a funny. Anyway, it is his last year, so it was important for him to enjoy it.

Josh has been working hard at both jobs, and at getting a place on this semi pro paintball team.That means I have been working hard driving him everywhere,lol.

We are still working on the little trailer that Chris got as payment for an a/c job- it had been used as storage, and we are finding some treasures in there, and some garbage too,lol.I am actually excited about that project- maybe more can get accomplished as the weather cools.

My pumpkins sure enjoyed the rain- I can't wait for them to decorate my front porch this fall.

Maybe that is what I should do, start thinking of some fall crafts- that will help w/ my heat exhaustion,lol.Can't be hot while thinking of fall........

we had a great time!

Up north. It was much cooler than home, only about 90 ( I know that still freaks some of you out,lol). We went into Flagstaff on Saturday, had lunch at my favorite place there- Bun Huggers, went to a home brewery supply place and bought a make your own soda kit. We are going to have some fun w/ that this weekend.

I did not go to the LSS there, even though I love it, because I was the only scrapper in the group. We did go to Bookmans ( my favorite used bookstore). I got a Guiding Light Family Album, which is a very cool thing. I will be able to fill in some blanks I have in the storylines.

Joel has been at Football Camp, he enjoyed it on his third and last year. He again went to the trout farm where you can catch fish with your bare hands. It is the highlight of his trip each year,lol. Now that he is back they are trying to cram a 30 hr week into 3 days for him since they are really short lifeguards at the pool.

Josh has been busy working, and "hanging out". He enjoys "hanging out" more than anyone I know. He actually calls it "chillax" or chillaxing. whatever.

I have been picking up school supplies, that time is just around the corner.

I have been struggling with fatigue and motivation lately. That did not used to be a problem for me, but lately I feel like just laying around watching tv. While I lay there I feel guilty. I think I need to get organized and get a few new projects going. It is sooooo hot here, I think that might be part of the problem.

speaking of motivation- off to get something done!

YIPEE!!

I am going to head up north to my parents cabin this weekend!!! I am going to have to take my car ( I hate to drive, hate hate hate it) because Josh has to work later than my parents will want to leave, but it will be worth it!
I plan to take a ton of pictures because this is probably the last time I will be there before the rennovations begin.
There is a cool LSS in Flagstaff, I am going to try to visit, if I can swing that. I am going to take Josh to a cool resturant- Bun Huggers, and to a place that sells home brewery equipment. They have a kit that lets you make your own soda so I am going to pick that up while I am there. I had meant to get it for him for Christmas but ran out of time to get it.We will prolly also go to Bookmans ( used book/videogame/cd store) and a couple of other stores we like to hit- it is a college town, so lots of very hip places to go.
I am struggling w/ a choice I need to make right now. Josh has some friends who I believe are bad for him. I have always had the personal belief before that people need to learn how to make good choices regardless of the company that they keep. Sheltering, whatever you want to call it, is a disservice, because one day - boom you are in the real world and it is uncensored.
I had friends of all types, ones that made good choices, some that made bad choices. Despite them, I made mostly good choices for myself.
I am struggling because I can also see another side to this. Protecting Josh from himself, at this point- if he is not going to do it. But, that goes against what I have always believed. But what good are my beliefs if Josh, while in the company of this group makes some life altering decision. tough, this parenting of teens is- tough tough tough!

scrapping sunday

I am scrapping my little heart out here in Maricopa,lol. I have a scrapping buddy who is quick on my heels w/ our challenges.

I am working on Chris' road to recovery album, from his heart surgery. It is a simple album, so it is going pretty quickly. I am not making a lot of the challenges though, because I am not using specific products.

I am cropping tomorrow irl with my friend vivian. It might be the last time we crop together ( sniff sniff) as she is headed back to her favorite state.

Think I am going to keep this entry short so I can get back to scrapping!

one of my top 5 worst days evah..............

Which I am not going to dwell on,lol. I am tired, crabby, overwhelmed and the whole 9 yards.

I am going to post about one of the most amazing acts of honesty and kindness that helped salvage the day.

I was at Super Walmart and drop dead tired. I was thinking about a problem I am having and how I should best handle said problem.

I loaded my groceries in the car and decided that I was going to head to panda express since I more than deserved a treat.

I get to panda express ( same parking lot as WM) and lo and behold I can not find my purse. I realize I left it on top of my car. DARN IT!

SO, I head back to my parking spot, after all, it had only been a minute. I searched and searched. No luck. I was devestated. I had a large amount of cash in it, plus all the stuff we carry in our purses that we do not want to lose. My ID had been stolen like 6 weeks ago and I was not looking forward to that whole thing again. Man, what a dummy I am.

I searched every sq. in of that parking lot and decide to go check at customer service. I am sure no one has turned it in, but I have to check,right?

Well, someone did turn it in. Everything is there. Every penny. Every card, every everything. I am so blessed. Good thing, since I can't be smart,lol.

I must be very boring.

Looks like I need to get involved in a love triangle or some other controversy to get readers/commenters.

LOL- ain't gonna happen here, I sorta like the boring life I have put together for myself. The less drama and controversy the better.

Todays mission, one that would bore most of you to tears, is to put two of my favorite cookbooks into sheet protectors and into a binder. They are falling apart and I am scared to loose any of the pages.

The cookbooks are "Make a Mix" and "More Make a Mix". They have wonderful recipes that help cut down time in the kitchen. Some of the mixes are similar to mixes you would buy in the store ( like a muffin mix or pancake mix) and some are just timesavers for main dishes and such. I like the time savings, the money savings and the " preservative" savings, since I know what I am putting in there. I am getting motivated to start using these books now!

This week I am looking forward to making some appointments and cropping w/ a friend.

It is hotter than heck here, so I am outside as little as possible, although we are enjoying the pool.

Have a great, non controversial day!

sweet!

Josh has been sponsored! He has been working hard for this, and it has paid off. The hard work will continue, and it is not a free ride but it does help. ( This is for paintball, lol sorry to leave that detail out)
He is still working at the pool, and is successful! He has been asked to train someone else and feels an awesome sense of pride.
Joel is doing well too, and has not caused any car accidents that I am aware of,lol.
I have next week off from babysitting, I think I am going to get to work on some pages for hire that I have going on. The guys are asking when we can get to the zoo again, so we can see the other things we missed.
It is hot here- 115 and they are saying no one should go outside. I am listening,lol. My kids work outside though so they are experts on how much water a person should drink.( I taught them well,lol)
I know I am behind the times, but I got a coluzzle today, so I could cut expert circles. I love it! Finally something I can use that works-woo hoo!
Tomorrow I am going to cut circles and get a haircut!

a day at the zoo!

We went to the zoo on Friday. We left the house really early so we would not get so hot, and to take advantage of the animals first waking up. So many animals that I had never seen doing anything but laying around, were moving and just being so entertaining.
The first picture is of the llama that Josh (in the black shirt) and his friend Chris ( green shirt- duh) befriended. They gathered leaves from outside the pen and passed them through. When there were no more leaves- the llama sort of grunted and then spit, yes SPIT all over Josh. EWWWW. That is why they are laughing though, boys are gross.
This next picture is of a new exibit where you are right in the enclosure with the monkeys. It was awesome, and I can't wait to get back to see more of their antics. We had a good breakfast ( josh had nachos,I had a hot dog,lol) and a good lunch there too, before we had to head home. 

summer and the livin is easy.................

so far,lol. I have spent almost no time in the car the last week and I have not been to town once,lol. Having a teenager w/ a drivers license is like that. I am starting to worry less than I was orignally, so that is good. He is going to drive to the city today so I am a bit nervous about that.

Josh is doing well, he likes his job at the pool.

Josh's friend tried to get him to quit but Josh stood his ground- something else to be proud of.

I am growing pumpkins and they now have their first flowers. This is pretty cool, hopefully we get lots of fun pumpkins to carve. Our tomatoes are doing great as well, they are so yummy!

It is getting hot here already, 110 this weekend. Our above ground pool is up so I might be able to start enjoying it. I am a HUGE baby about cold water( anything less than 80) and the temps are still dropping at night and the water doesn't have a chance to heat up.

Chris got his cpap machine, we are both sleeping a lot better. He wakes up bright and early now,lol- not sure that is a good thing but so glad he is not going to stop breathing or put stress on his heart with untreated apnea.

WOO HOO!

20 lbs of bazzill. That is just what got dropped off at my house! I have been saving some of the cash I have been earning providing childcare and made a big purchase from createforless. They really had awesome customer service, I liked how the site is set up. I also picked up the foam stamps of rebecca sowers handwriting- too cool!
I am on another organizing frenzy in my scrap area. I am hoping someone has iris carts on sale this week- I need two more and am almost ready to break down and buy them at full price. I don't think I could actually do that, but I am getting tempted,lol.
School is almost out here, next Tuesday. I am sure looking forward to it!
The kids seem to like working at the pool. Josh is feeling a little overwhelmed because he is also working at the paintball course and still has school going on. I think he will be fine after school lets out.
I am going to go file some bazzill. ( Insert smilie face)

what a cutie!

This is what Joel looked like 15 years ago on my second Mothers Day. That is a pudding cup and goodness knows if he got any to eat,lol.
Today, we went to brunch at L&B's, a not so local place, that has a nice Sunday Brunch. Both boys have to work today, Joel at the pool and Josh at the paintball field.
Tonight for dinner I think we are going to grill and play tripoly.
Now, I profess it is time for a nap! 

What is in...............

my fridge right now-

water
diet pepsi
sweet tea
gatorade
( we get thirsty here in az,lol)
5 dozen eggs from my chickens
can of biscuts
butter
ketchup
mustard
mayo
lunchmeat
leftovers
shredded and block cheese and american too,lol- we also love cheese here

my purse-
I don't technically carry a purse, I carry a franklin covey planner, but inside is:
checkbook, debit cards, cash
grocery store game cards
scrapbook store cards
menu planner
day to day planning sheets
coupons
phone numbers/addresses

my car-
man, this is where I "live" almost so-
4 stadium seats
4 folding chairs
ice chest
tylenol, ibuprophen
one dose each of everyone in the family's medication
air freshener
sonic drink straw wrappers
change in a film container

my eventful morning

I have started providing childcare for a neighborhood family, in the mornings from 5-7 am. This morning, the bus was late, to pick up the oldest, which made me late ( one of the things I hate the most) and Joel almost late. Whew, everyone made it on time, thanks to help from Chris, my dh.

Then, I let Joel drive to school this morning, and we have this little deal. He needs to call me when he gets to his destination, so I can stop worrying. He does it, but doesn't really like it. Today, someone met him at his car, and he ended up forgetting to call me. I text messaged him, to ask if he made it. He did not respond, and 10 mins later, while freaking out, I call the high school campus.

I get a recording. I call back, and am trying another extention, when another call comes on. I answer, and it is Officer so and so from the such and such Police Dept. I turned pale ( according to DH) and almost fainted.

He starts talking about my identity theft case and I start laughing out loud. He thinks I am a weirdo, I am sure, but I could not help it. I explained it to him, and he laughed too.
While we were OTP, Joel text'ed me back and said he is fine, and sorry for worrying me.

My identity theft case is going ok. I have recieved all my money back from the bank, they are investigating and my local PD has transferred the case to the county sherriff since all the purchases were made online and out of the city.

Just got a call from Joel, he remembered this afternoon,lol.

untitled

Joels IVP procedure found nothing abnormal. He still has to complete the other tests, but that would show minor issues, if anything. So a big WHEW there!

I started babysitting in the mornings, and it is an adjustment for the whole big family! I have to wake up at the ungodly hour of 4:30 and everyone is used to being able to count on me here. We are going to need to have a family meeting and quick!

My debit card number was stolen, and it has really messed up my life,lol. The bank is doing the investigation, and I should know something soon. The police are really helpful, they say this is a "very prosecutable" crime. Geez, I hope so, it has been really a mess.

Joel is going to be a lifeguard this summer, and Josh was hired to be a cashier. He is having second thoughts, and I just am trying to encourage him to give it a try. I am getting discouaraged!

Well, gotta run!

as the world turns

joel had a follow up visit tuesday, and here is what is next for him:
1) has to keep a food diary for 5 days- everything he ingests.
2) has to collect urine for a 24 hr period
3) has to have a IVP, a procedure that is a bit of a hassle,lol.
this weekend joel has to not eat any solid food, take laxatives. Then, monday he is going to be injected w/ a dye that will allow them to see the function of the kidneys.
Here's to hoping it is all just a big hassle and they don't find anything scary.

I have blogged about a friend that I have that can be frustrating at times. I love her still though, and the last time I was really frustrated, I decided that that is what was important, that she and I are friends, and over look our differences in parenting.
Let me back up a bit. About 4 years ago, she stopped taking my calls. She had her kids hang up on me, gave me lots of excuses about why she couldn't come to the phone, etc. I never had any idea what happened, and we had been friends for about 4 years, and I was heartbroken. I never mean to hurt anyones feelings, and if I find out that I have I apologize and try never to do it again. I felt I must have offended her, but could not for the life of me figure out why she would just stop talking to me.
Two years later, I got a letter from her. She said that she was so sorry she cut me out of her life, but that I was no fun. She was getting "bored" and all I wanted to do was stuff w/ the kids. She apologized. I went right to her house and told her it was fine and never brought it up again. We picked up right were we left off.
I was really hurt, and I never really told her that. I did not see a lot of good in going on and on about it after the fact. She apologized, I wanted to be her friend again, time to move on.
Now here we are 2 years later. She has done it again. I should not be surprised. I mean, our friendship did not mean crap to her before, why would I think it did now? Again, I have no idea if it is because I am too boring for her, if I offended her or what. This time however, I decided that it really is OK. I am not going to be heartbroken. She's nuts. She drives me crazy. I don't need that in my life anyway.
If, and that is a big IF, she does contact me in the future, it really won't matter. Like I said, she has never held our friendship in the same regard as I do apperantly. I could never trust her again. I don't need the constant take take take of our relationship anyway.
I am sad, like w/ a divorce, for the relationship that you dream of having, instead of the one that you have. I am sad that I am looking around and not seeing other friends,lol. I need to get out and make some.
Thanks for reading this big ol long thing,lol.

whats new

wellllllllllllll, lets see.
Tuesday, Joel called me from school and said I should pick him up, he is sick. He has had perfect attendance for the past 3 years, and never, I mean, never likes to miss school.
I picked him up and took him to the doc.
The doc felt he has a viral infection, blah blah blah, wait it out, get better in three days, drink water.
He went to school weds, did fine, played baseball- whole 9 yards.
Thursday at 230 am, he wakes me up, pain is horrible, he needs to go to the ER. Wow- I have never had to take joel,lol.
So, off we go. He is sleeping in the waiting room. We meet w/ the triage nurse and, I know he is in extreme pain, he is agitated and unable to concentate. He insisted to her that he has chest pains. She asked to point to where it hurts, and he pointed at his belly. She felt it was is appendix.
He gives a urine sample, and a blood sample.The urine had blood in it, and the blood test came back normal. After about an hr, we are back in a room.
They give him an IV, get him comfy, and we wait. We were now at about the end of a shift
( thank GOD!) and so we had to wait for new people.
The new doc and nurse were much improved,lol. Joel had an xray and eventually a cat scan.
They felt he had a kidney infection and another condition that looks like the appendix but is really swollen lymph nodes, and is equally painful, but benign.
We go home, and Joel, who heard no restrictions, heads back to school.
The next day, Joel's pediatrician calls, to say that the urine culture does not show infection, so there is something else going on.Could be that he passed a kidney stone, could be a kidney not functioning properly, who knows, at this point. We see Joels doc on Tuesday, for another urine test, and new plan of action.
Josh has been a busy guy, working at the paintball course. Lots of hours this week. He is also hoping for a summer job at the pool, so he can say " I have two jobs"- he thinks he is hilarious when he says that,lol.
This weekend is a fun, but busy one too.
Joel has a recertification class for lifeguarding, and Josh is going to work both days. I am going to try to squeeze some scrapping in, but this house is a wreck! I got behind while Joel was sick and I was tired from being at ER.
We are going to do something different this year, for easter, out of necessity. With Josh being gone all day, we are going to have our easter egg in the dark, with flashlights. The guys are looking forward to that!

thankful for

-Sonic drinks

-scrapbooking, and time to enjoy it

-the memories I have made so far

-my kids

-my kids' friends, and their familes, who treat my kids so well when they are there. I am so thankful for that help.

-my parents- they are still there for me, all the time, no matter what

-my health. I know, there is a lot of pain in my joints, and my meds have side effects. But all 4 of us lived through today, and prolly will tomorrow. There have been so many posts on a message board I frequent, with serious life threatening problems. I have been there, with my DH, but for today, I will be thankful for my health.

-for my oldests ds's sense of responsibility and loyalty. No one could ask for a better friend. He makes sure all of his teamates have rides home, do not need to use the phone, or need anything to eat. He makes sure everyone has equipment and uniforms. He often is too busy caring for others to care for himself.( who is that like,lol)

-for my youngest ds- that he makes sure we all have a laugh at least once a day.He does not let us forget to live our life, instead of planning the day away.

I am now, finally, getting off of the pot.

I decided today, to use the effort that I have been using to attempt to get along w/ my ex, and solve our issues w/o involving attorneys and courts, and use it to find a good attorney and take care of business.
I did not want to have money interfere with my kids relationship w/ their dad. At this time, there is no relationship, so I might as well have some money,lol.
I decided that instead of wasting time trying to talk to him, I would use that time to get my reciepts and notes in order and go to court.
I will win, I am right. It does not make it any less sad, and any more what I want. It is, however, what it is.
Joel is driving now, and every time he drives, I get so sick to my stomach with worry. I am doing a little better now, I know it takes 20 minutes to get home from town, so I only worry after 20 minutes,lol. Last night he was home before I could start really worrying, so hopefully I am on the right path.
So here I am, no kids to take anywhere, no where I have to rush off to,and I have NO clue what to do w/ myself.I better get a life.

owie

I am a native arizonan. I have heard all my life about sunburns, sun damage and skin cancer. I am a freak when it comes to my kids wearing sunscreen.
Yesterday, however, I spent 5 hrs in the sun, w/o sunscreen and have a really bad sunburn. I have a fever and I feel so sick from it.
The good news is my son's baseball team won both of those baseball games. YEAH!

q is for

quack- a happy sound I hear each day.They great me in the morning, when I come and go from the house. I know they think they need to be fed, and that is why they are quacking, but I pretend that they like me,lol.
qvc- I love to watch the kitchen and craft shows.
I suck at q even worse than P,lol.

Joel got his drivers license Thursday. Wow. I have some stuff journaled about my feelings about him walking out of the door at MVD and getting in the car w/ a stranger, and him behind the wheel. It really freaked me out. He did well (98 out of 100). I haven't let him drive anywhere else alone yet,lol. I am going to have to get over this.

Josh is working tomorrow, and has started a little business building custom paintball gun stands. I am going to have to post a picture, he is a pretty smart guy.

P is for

2peas- still like it there. not as homey as LM, but the boards move fast.
peas. I like them.
pillows- two under my head and one in between my knees.
python- we have a ball python

man, this alpha stuff is hard work,lol.

its that time of year again

Busy with baseball season!Joel had 5 games last week. That is unusual,lol so every week won't be like that- thank goodness.
We had a substantial amount of rain yesterday. Our state had gone 143 days w/o any rain, and yesterday sure made up for it. We had a lot of rain, and wind in the morning. The wind subsided in the afternoon, but it was still raining when I went to bed. I was worried about being able to get out of my drive in the afternoon but I was indeed able to.
An update on my situation w/ my sister: She is pretending like nothing happened. That has worked for her in the past. She is often annoying, and I have always let it go before. This time,she really crossed the line. I can't just pretend that she didn't say all of that stuff. I am probably going to have to clarify my position on that because she ignoring /disrespecting the fact that I don't want to talk to her,lol.
I have a small scrapping job, and I have been busy with that too, lately. I did several LO's yesterday during the storm. I have a couple left but I am going to have to hit the LSS for some materials before I do them.Since I am in the scrapping mood I am going to scrap some current pics of my own. 

a vent/whine

warning you now,lol.
My sister and I had an argument today, that was very very hateful and sad.
My sister and I fought as young girls. I am the oldest, by 3 years. I did not like fighting w/ her then, and I have always done my best to avoid it now that we are adults.
We are very different. I am ok w/that. She really has never been ok w/ that. She believes there is one right way, everything is black and white.I almost always just listen to her and just go ahead and do what I want,lol. I respect her right to have her opinions and her life the way she wants it. If she is judgmental of me, I just shrug and realize it is most likely ignorance on this issue/topic whatever. My poor parents listen to me vent, and just tell me she does not understand real life.
Anyway, today we had a really bad fight. One I am not sure I will ever get over. I can not imagine ever speaking to her again. When I have heard other people say that I always thought they were dramatic. After all, family is way too important to hold grudges.Not talking about abusive or extreme situations, but in cases where family members offend one another. I now see that maybe people are just protecting themselves.
The issue is not important. I was disappointed and concerned about something, and I called her to tell her. She fired back w/ insults, you know, not just "You ugly fat lady"lol but deep, right through the heart insults. The very things she knew would hurt the most. She hurled insult after insult at me. Then she started hurling them at one of my boys. That is when I yelled over her(we were otp) and told her I was done, that I was never going to talk to her again.
I am so sad. We have never been close. We are so different, and I do not like how she treats my parents. I have always longed for a close relationship with her. I tried for a long time, years, to build one. I know that this is not the same as loosing a dh or if we had been close, but I am oh so sad, just sad.
I do not give any merit to her insults. For one, I doubt very seriously she meant them. Two, they are just baseless and untrue. But still, she was way out of line to say them, and I do not see me being able to forget hearing those words come out of her mouth. Her DH called right after and apperantly my sister feels that my saying I never want to speak to her again is the ultimate insult that trumps all insults. Cool. Fine, think that. Maybe it is.
Maybe I can't listen to all her other insults anymore. Maybe I do not want to hear about how she is using my parents anymore. Maybe I don't want to hear how she would never allow her kids to eat what mine do. Maybe I don't want to hear that she does not want to hang around me because of my ill mannered kids. Maybe I don't want to hear how if I want a sister to check w/ my sil. Blah blah blah, sorry, if you are still awake- thanks!

worms, worms, worms

Dianna, cover your eyes now!
Everyone else can read along.
I have been getting a worm bin set up for awhile, and looking for the cheapest place to get my little guys. Today was the day. I ordered a pound of red wigglers, and will have them next week. Then they can start composting for me, to help get a great garden going!
I would actually like, in time, to build a business. Lets see if I am still saying that in a few months,lol.

p is for poopy butthead

quick story, one night my 2 ds's, my ex and I were out to dinner ( we were together at the time,lol) and waiting for our food. Josh was 3, Joel was 4. Josh kept getting into stuff, and picked up a steak knife. I took it away from him and handed him a spoon. He looks at me, with a really mean look, square in the eye and says " Poopy Butthead". I know, I am supposed to be shocked, after all, where did he hear that? I did not use that type of language. I was supposed to be mad, after all, how disrespectful! But both his dad and I started laughing hysterically, as did the two tables next to us. The name kind of stuck, and when someone is really mean, we call them a poopy butthead.
For the next few days, I am going to blog about my ex. I try very hard to be a good person, not judge others, blah blah blah. I do not share my feelings about my ex w/ my kids, for obvious reasons. I do not share them often w/ my dh because he gets upset since I am upset. The last time I tried to talk to my mom she says " well, I think you still love him since he makes you angry." Uh, no mom, I am angry about what he does/does not do w/ and for the boys.
He swooped down on us Saturday at 5. I use the word swoop because he just disrupts everything. He does not call first, then expects them to be ready in an instant. He has expectations on their apperance that we just don't have here. They are teenagers and I usually let them decide what to wear/how to do their hair.
He refuses to tell me where they are going. I am the only custodial parent. I do not think that he puts them in physical danger or anything like that. I just think it is strange when I ask" So what are you guys going to be up to?" that he says " None of your buisness"
He also does not like to tell me when he will be bringing them back. That is frustrating.
I honestly might not be as upset as I am but for the fact that he left, and did not contact them in any way for more than 4 years. When he came back into their life, it was because his dad ( a wonderful man) passed away. It was at his funeral, that Joel and Josh found out that their dads GF had had another child w/ someone other than their dad and that he was raising that child as his own. What a kick in the teeth eh?
We are in a current disagreement, and last night when I tried to discuss it w/ him he hung up on me twice. He had said many untrue and negative things about me to my ds's on this last visit. It created a lot of drama over here- drama I do not need. When I called him, I simply asked him to let me know if he has any issues w/ me, rather than putting me in a negative light w/ the boys. That is hurtful to them, and even if he is mad at me I am sure he does not want to hurt them. Well, he hung up, after calling me names ya know? great, just great. The only good thing is karma. He is going to have some bad karma here,lol. All the years that he was missing, I told the boys that their dad loved them and was doing his best. It got to the point that the boys even resented me for saying that, since they knew he wasn't really doing his best. I had to stop defending him, but never once did I say anything bad about their dad. I did/do not do that for him, I do it for THEM.
anyway- more tomorrow

o is for ooooops!

I hit enter waaay too soon,lol.
O is for-
omgosh, people really are reading this?
oatmeal- love it
old- you are only as old as you feel. I feel 90.
oranges- I did not like oranges until I was an adult.
obey- I obey laws and rules even if I think they are dumb. I am waaaay to chicken to get into trouble.
obligation- I am working on not feeling obligated to do a bunch of stuff for a bunch of people who a) should be doing it for themselves, and b) that I really don't feel like doing.
obscene- I usually do not swear, if I do, it is for a dramatic effect.
omlettes- I like ham and cheese.
oven-I do not use my oven a lot- I like to use other gadgets, my crockpot, roaster, indoor grill.

O is for........

N is for

nutjob- one of my favorite words. Anyone who is being goofy is a nutjob.
Nikki- one of my online friends
Navy- my favorite color
nuts- I like pecans best
nesco- I love my nesco roaster
news- I like to watch the news, keeping myself informed on what is going on around me.
Neil- one of my favorite preschool students ( we were very attatched,lol). I wonder how he is now.
new- I like thrift stores and such, but there are just some things that we need to buy new.LOL

M is for..........

My online friend Mely- she is the one who no matter what will tell me I am right, never judge me, she even gets madder for me than I do if things are not right,lol.
My online friend Melissa- she makes me want to get in my car and drive to her hometown, so so sweet!( she also helped me think of M words,lol)
my online friend Miranda- ubber talented and also just too sweet.
Mocha- My girl, my puppy
mocha- a really good drink,lol. I am into peppermint mochas now.
money- need some,lol
mad- try not to get too mad, doesn't do anything for my ugly mug or my health.
music- I love country music, I play flute and guitar.
meat- chicken is my fave
memories- I love photos, scrapbooks, videos. I love telling the stories of my youth and the present day.
major- I was an early childhood education major.

Four jobs you have had in your life:
1. paper girl
2. shampoo girl in a hair salon
3. early childhood educator

Four movies you would watch over and over
1. I think my name is Steven
2. just about anything on Lifetime,lol.
Four places you have lived:
1. phoenix az
2. glendale az
3 maricopa az

Four places you have been on vacation:
1. fort atkinson, wisconsin
2. disneyland
3. oceanside california
4. few cities in texas
everyone I know has been tagged,lol so this is just a freebie.
Four websites I visit daily:
LM, 2peas, homesteading today, blogs
Four of my favorite foods:
1. pizza
2. onion rings
3. tangelos
4. cheese
Four places I would rather be right now:
I like being right here at home, and I am not here often enough.

L is for

Lisa, my name,lol.
LOL- I think this is my most typed phrase, I am always LOL.
Love- love is all you need, love is in the air, love is all around, all you need is love, and the greatest is love, loves the only thing that there's just too little of................
Life- I like my life. It's hard, but I like it.
Late- I do not like it if I am running late, I get a stomach ache and headache. I do not like it when others are late either, I view it as disrespectful.
Lace- I am not a fan of lace, no girlie girl here.
Lifetime Moments- a message board where I hang.
Left out- I try hard to include everyone. Everyone has something to offer. I don't "like" everyone, I can't help everyone, but I work really hard to be good and kind to everyone I meet. Like I said earlier, life is hard. I am not here to make it harder on anyone or judge them.

k is for

kristiegk- an online friend I have been chatting w/ for 3+ years
kristie- an irl friend that we are just really starting a friendship- a year or so maybe now?? we have a lot in common
krispie kreme-only the best donuts, gotta love maple longjohns
koala bear-I had a koala stuffed animal as a girl and wanted to have one irl when I grew up. I had a whole plan about how I was going to go to the san deigo zoo and steal one, and get it home,lol.
karaoke- If I go out it is my favorite thing to do
kids- I have 2, I always wanted three, but after days like today I am glad it was just 2,lol
kind- I work hard at being kind to others. This year I am working at being kind to myself.

J is for

Joel-my oldest ds, currently 16.
Joshua- my youngest, currently 14.
Jethro- my oldests first dog
Jellybeans- I like black the best.
Java, Joe- I like coffee flavored stuff, but not coffee itself.

I is for..........

ice cream-I love ben and jerry's new york super fudge chunk. I like blue bells moolenium crunch too, and plain ol vanilla.
ice- my favorite is sonic ice, and for at home I like my water and ice stores half cube.
iguana- I used to have an iguana. They are really neat but hard to care for properly. I was not up to it,lol.
iron- I really dislike ironing
italian food- Ahhh one of my favorites. Pizza, spaghetti, ravioli, chicken cacciatore, lasagna, it is alllllll gooooood.

H is for

Honey Hot Wings- from Native New Yorker. They are really the best. I do not like ranch so I can't eat hot or suicide or whatever, plus I am a HUGE whimp.
Hobbling- I am hobbling around today, I have pain in my knee.
hobbies- scrapbooking, gardening, homemaking
homesteading wannabe- I am working toward being more self sufficient and good to the earth. We have chickens and ducks, I compost and recycle. My goals are to have more animals, plant a veggie garden and fruit trees. I also cook from scratch most often.
helpful- I try to be as helpful to other people as much as possible.
honest- I work really hard at being honest w/ myself. I am honest w/ others easily.
houseplants- I used to have quite a collection, and now I am getting a few started again. I enjoy them.

G is for

Gross- teenage boys are gross.
goofy- teenage boys are goofy.
Glass- I like cobalt blue glass.
gravy and biscuts- my ds's favorite breakfast that I make.
grass- even though I live in the desert I love to see green grass.
grenadine- I like to make shirley temples!
george forman- I love my george forman grill.
garden- I love to garden. My garden is mostly flowers, and herbs. I can not physically do everything I want to do, so sometimes gardening frustrates me.
goals- I am a goal oriented person, and a list maker.

a few holiday questions

Hot Chocolate or Egg Nog? I like both, but I would choose hot chocolate usually.
Does Santa wrap the presents or just set them under the tree? He used to wrap but now he doesn't anymore.
Colored or white lights on the tree/house? Blue
Do you hang mistletoe?-sometimes
When do you decorate? the friday after thanksgiving
What is your favorite holiday dish? the ham,lol
Do you open gifts on Christmas Eve? yes, the jammies and then everyone can choose one.
What kind of cookies do you set out for Santa on Christmas Eve? We used to set out sugar cookies.
Snow! Love it or hate it? hate
Can you ice skate? no way
What is your favorite Christmas Carol? The Little Drummer Boy
Are they fake or real? Er, I mean...What type of tree? Fake

F

is for-
four- the number of people in my immediate family.
family- I have a dh, and two ds's.
freezer- I got a new deep freezer this year and love how much money I can save at the store, and how much easier feeding those two teenage boys has been.
fresh herbs- I love to grow mint, sage, basil and parsley.
fantasies- I love to daydream about winning the lottery and what I would like to do outside on my property.
fragrance- my favorite is warm vanilla sugar from bath and body works
freecycle- a wonderful "thing". I have both given and recieved items on my local freecycle group.
friends- I love my friends, my irl and my online friends. I just recently started making friends. I hooked up w/ my exdh when I was 15. I allowed him to become the center of my universe. After my divorce, I was really busy raising my two ds's. I really like that I have taken the time/effort to make friends.
fried chicken- one of my most requested dinners. Pretty good if I do say so myself

E

E-
Eeyore- " Thanks for noticing me"

Enter- most used space on my keyboard,lol.

Easy- life is not easy

Eating-I love pizza, onion rings, hot dogs and dark chocolate.

Earrings- have to be at least 14 K gold or I get a horrible rash

Eyes- blue w/ little yellow specks in them

Emu- I want one, dh says no way. I had the chance to get a flock of 5 for free but dh would have nothing to do w/ it.

Escape- in the computer or in my scraproom

Excercise- with the exception of gardening and housekeeping, I do not excercise. My motto is " No pain, no pain"

Excessive- I drink an excessive amount of chocolate diet cokes from Sonic.

Excellent- Josh says I am an excellent mom, scrapbooker, and cook.

D is for

Dork- I am a dork. I cry at movies, commercials, any sort of sappy stuff.
Dina- my sister, three years younger, also a teacher.
Dianna- my best online friend. She is just super, always there for me.
Denim- my favorite fabric. Practical, goes w/ everything.
Direct TV- I don't watch a lot of TV but I am sure glad I have it.
Dining room- my whole dining room is filled w/ old stuff I love. The table was my parents first table, and one of the chairs is marred by my booster seat. I can not imagine eating anywhere else. My china cabinet is actually my bedroom furnature as a girl, the dresser/hutches.
Ducks- my favorite farm animal. I just love our 5 ducks and this spring I will probably get a few more.
Dogs- my favorite "inside" animal. Chows are my favorite breed. I love them for their loyalty, and because they are less "dog-like" than other dogs.
Dude- Joel's bassett hound

C is for-

Children- mine, other people's, I love children. I love to look at this world throug their eyes.
Chickens-I have 10. We do not butcher them( guess I am a city girl still,lol) but I love the chickens, and the eggs. Nothing tastes like farm fresh eggs.
Coffee- I do not like black coffee, but I like sweet coffee drinks.
Computer- I was so resistant to start using it and was practically forced to in my last job, but now I can not imagine life w/o it.
Chat- I love going to chat, and my friends from chat. Again, I would be really sad to give that up.
Clue- I love playing Clue w/ my kids.
Crock Pot-my favorite kitchen appliance. I am using it today!
Cougars- my kids' school mascot! Go Cougars!!!
Chris- my DH
Checkerboard- my favorite pattern

the letter B

B is for-
Boys- I have the blessing of being mom to the two best boys in the world.
As a preschool teacher, the naughty, ornery boy was my favorite to teach.I loved the challenge, I loved their curiosity.
Blessings- I have so many. My family, my friends, my home, my car, we eat good food every day. We have access to good medical care, I have a hobby I love, and so does each member of my family.
bath and body works- warm vanilla sugar
bread machine- love to make rolls, and warm pretzels.
baby animals- aren't they cute??
baskets- I love baskets!
butter- real butter, no margerine here!!
bassett hounds- joels favorite dog

I also wanted to blog a bit about my dh. This is the one year anniversary of his heart surgery.
After an average weekend morning of yardwork, chores ect, my dh came in and ate lunch. Shortly after that, we came home from picking up a fish tank for my youngest ds. My dh was helping carry it in and he said he needed to rest. I thought he was messing around w/ me because he was not really in favor of this fish tank. He sat down, and drank some water, and told me he was really having trouble. I went and sat next to him, and he was very clammy and agitated. We called an ambulance, and they rushed him to our local hospital.
There, they were monitoring him because his symptoms were indicitive of either a heart attack or a diabetic shock. Every test was normal though, and my dh was still in extreme pain, and said he could not see. They decided to do a CAT scan to see if there was any damage to the aorta.Bingo.
He had an ascending aortic dissection ( a tear in the upper aorta). You have three walls to the vessel, and two were split. If the third splits, he dies immediately. This is the condition that killed John Ritter, and I firmly believe that his death brought awareness to this condition, that was formerly not even thought about in emergency rooms since it is fairly rare.
He was airlifted to University Medical Center, which is one of two heart hospitals in our state. The hospital is about an hr from our local hospital. My mom and dad met me, for my dad to take the boys, and for my mom to come with me.
My dh "refused" to go into surgery until I could tell him that is what he should do. His wonderful, wonderful icu nurse hooked up a phone so he could talk to me. He does not remember the flight or my phone call, but he agreed to go into surgery w/o me being there.I got there about an hour after they started the surgery.
We waited anxiously during the 6 hr surgery. His nurse came out occasionally to let us know how it was going.
His doctor, who we later learned was the top heart surgeon in this state, came out later to tell us " Your husband almost died but he is fine now" LOL- that was all he had to say.
A few hours later they let us see him, and then they said that they would be keeping him sedated the rest of the day and night. My mom and I went home so I could get my meds and to make further arrangements.
His recovery took a long time, much longer than we had expected. He almost died twice more, and was in a medically induced coma for 2 weeks. He got a nasty bacterial infection and it was just yukky all around. He had the best care imaginable,and everyone at the hospital, from the cafeteria employees, the houskeeping staff, to the doctors were all helpful and extrememly kind.
He came home on New Years day, and he still does not remember most of the first two weeks at home( due to pain meds). He was off work for 3 more months, and then went back PT, and eventually back to full time. We have had a very tough time financially this year ( nothing like being out of work and having extensive medical bills to do that to a one income family,lol), but I still feel like his care was a bargin, and that we are so blessed to all still be here this year.

a little idea I saw on another blog

Every day she chooses a letter and does this:
A is for:
Arthritis- life changing. Good ways and bad. I think I will do a longer entry about that one day.
Animals- I love animals, all kinds.
Apples- Granny Smith and MacIntosh are my favorites.
Acetaminophen- my best friend,lol.
A&E- love cold case files
Albertsons- one of my favorite grocery stores

my guys

Ok, I have never put a photo in my blog before, so this is really an experiment,lol. This photo is of my sons, looking out at Sunset Point. Sunset Point is a really beautiful place between Phoenix and Flagstaff, AZ. Kinda hokey, for us natives, but I guess I had never pulled off the highway to let my ds's see this before. I think I will stop again in the spring, when everything will be so much greener.
Today is the first time in 3 months that I have had the house to myself for the day, I am looking forward to that! I plan to do some decluttering, and some resting, and some scrapping. 

craptacular

I am really getting frustrated w/ people lately. Well, not just people, but PEOPLE,lol. People who are responsible to me, or to my kids, and who are shirking their responsiblities. They have a lot of nerve, then, to tell me that I am either A) a crappy mom or B) such a good mom, that is why they can be so darn irresponsible.
I am ticked off at my DH too, because he has really gotten lazy and unmotivated. I don't have enough energy to pick up his slack.He really seems to feel that he should be able to go to work and then, do nothing else ever. I know we all need relaxing and down time, but I did not mean to marry the poster child of it,lol.
I was watching outlaws on CMT today, I guess I still have a thing for the bad boys,lol. I loved it!!
I got a wonderful surprise in my email today, so I am trying to cheer myself up w/ the GC that I recieved,lol.
I have scrapped a little every day for the last 3 days. I have finished 2 LO's and partly finished another. I feel good about that.
I am still plugging away at my mini album, too.

in and out, in and out

That is my life these days, letting the dogs in, letting them out. Over and over. I always teased my dad, for doing this w/ his dogs and now karma has come back to bite me, and HARD!
Today, Josh says he needs to get back to drinking enough water. I asked him, how do you know you have not been drinking enough, and he said
" My pee is too yellow" LOL. I guess he listens to me about something.

getting cold here!

We are having frost warnings now, after having shorts weather last week,lol. What a switch!
This saturday is our cities electric light parade, but we will be at the can't miss it for anything football banquet. I hope that kid knows I love him,lol.
I started a new mini simple scrapbooks type album I am kind of excited about. I found these adorable mini albums at the dollar store, and they hold 36 4x6 pgs. I bought 20 of them ( do you think that is excessive?) as a plan to use them for gifts next year and for some of the mini album ideas I have been planning on doing.
for the first one, I took 35 pics of "It's a good thing", ya know, things that I think are good things. This album is just mostly going to be photos, with thin strips to tell what the pic is of. I decided to do pages that would require journaling in my bom. Then I am going to journal at the end, on the last page.
anyway, I am off to hop in the shower and get into some sweats w/ a mug of joe.

and we're off

our family is headed to northern az this weekend.It is going to be really cold, but I am looking forward to it.
The guys are going to golf a little bit ( just the driving range) and I brought some chick flicks for my mom and I. I also brought all our adam sandler movies,lol.
I am taking my qvc card kit, so I can do something creative while my mom is sewing. The boys are really looking forward to it.
I submitted a BUNCH of baby pages for a MM call, hopefully one gets picked up, it has been a long dry spell,lol.

nothing new

going on around here,lol. Same ol same ol.
I have been glued to my TV here, watching some of the most awful news stories.
First there's the double murder at a Subway resturant. This resturant is a mile and a half from where I used to live, before moving here. This is now the most violent precinct in my state. It has more than double the murders than any other precinct and tons more burglaries etc.
Anyway, two 17 yr old boys, athletes, good students and hard workers were killed while they closed up this resturant. It started as an armed robbery, and ended with both of them dead. To make it even worse, the killers were three students from the same high school as the victims. They were 16, 15 and 15. How does this happen? Sixty dollars. Wow, just wow.
The news of two pedophiles broke today. One a psychiatrist, one a 17 yr old boy, whose mom ran an in home daycare. One of his victims was 8 months old.
Last night, two girls who were swimming in a canal drowned. They were 3 and 8 yrs old.
Carjackings, and even the newest thing, car surfing. Getting on top of the car while it is moving. That has killed two people here in the last 6 months.
It all gets to me, but the subway deal just really tugs at my heart. All teenagers. All of their lives ended. For nothing. How did we get here? What can we do? How can it end?
I don't share a popular opinon on this, but I do not believe in young people being charged or treated as adults. They aren't. Their is more than enough evidence that their brains are not fully developed. Our society does not treat them as adults in any other way, why? Because they are not adults.
Arizona is a perfect example of how this is not working, and how we punish adults is not working. I do not have all the answers, and it is something I do struggle with. Our state spends tons of money on jails, prisons, prosecutors. Less on education, less on social services. Where does that leave us? Dead last on every list. Lowest drop out rates? not AZ, we are 50th. Infant mortality rates? we are in the low 40's. We were recently ranked the "stupidest " state in the union. Great, just great.
I just think we need to really look at this, but I don't see that happening in my lifetime. We will continue to spend money after the fact on bandaids.

tomorrows plans

Well, today was the end......... of the 05 football season. We had a great season.
Today during the boys' practice I went to the grocery store and bought all of the boys' favorite microwave ( aka crap) food.We went to the cheapie movie rental place and rented 4 movies. Then, we came home, cleaned the house and went on "vacation" no one is doing anything the rest of the weekend!!! I am soooooooooo excited.The boys and I are going to stay home, eat junk and watch movies. I am also going to scrap.
Dh is excited too, he is going to play golf for his birthday, with his friend Frank. He is going to be taking off w/ the car, so I planned a neat day w/ the boys so we would forget we were stuck w/o a car,lmbo.
I found the greatest mini album at the dollar tree, bought one, to see if I would really like it. Well, I love them, I am going to go back and buy some more. My first project is going to be a "its a good thing" album, w/ pics and journaling about things that I really like. ( of course my chocolate diet coke from sonic will make the first page,lmbo.I am going to pick some up for some more mini albums I have been wanting to do and some extras for gift ideas for next year.

tired

but doing ok.
I called the good ol mental health provider today, I think I need to talk to someone about some stressors that I have in my life. I have gone a couple of times in my life, once when I had a miscarriage and once right before I got divorced from my kids dad. It was very helpful and I am sure it will be again.
I love Sonic commercials almost as much as I love Sonic.The new one about the extra long cheese coneys and tots. "Go ahead and get the drink then" lmbo.
I took pictures of sonic today, I am going to do a scrapbook page about it. I know that sounds wierd, but it is something I love so it is going into my BOM.
Joel is really giving me a hard time about his license. I just do not think he is quite ready. Closer, yes but not ready.
Well, before I put us both to sleep............. night.

just a day

Chris really stepped up today, it was great. I needed to finish some things for a swap( had to go to the LSS, an hour away, and work there) Joel needed to go to the mall (with him, need/want to go to the mall is about the same thing,lmbo) Chris dropped me off at the LSS and took the boys to the mall. They had a really good time, and came back and picked me up. It was really nice for me not to have to handle all of that by myself.
We are going to have a great dinner, steaks on the george forman and baked potatoes. Easy, quick but oh so good dinner. It is starting to get cooler( like 85,lol) at night now so we can eat soup. I have been hankering soup for a few weeks, and am going to make a lot of crock pot soups this fall/winter.

on a mission

I have been on a mission for the past few months to declutter. To get rid of stuff.
I have spent the last 22 years collecting stuff. Stuff for my dream house. Stuff for my home. Stuff for my kids. Stuff for teaching and stuff for crafts.
I am a bargin hunter, so I got a great deal on all this stuff. My kids have become bargin hunters too, so they have been collecting too,lol.
This week, I filled our trash can completely full, two days before they are coming to pick up trash. I have been to goodwill twice. I was able to control myself while in the thrift store too,lol. ( Lets not bring home MORE clutter,lmbo.)
Now that I am pretty much set, I feel like this is "it", I am not moving again, stuff that I have been collecting either has a place or it doesn't. That has been helpful in getting rid of stuff. I have( so far) not been sad about anything I have thrown or given away. No regrets.
I am trying to donate everything that could possibly have a use, or recycle it, and only throw away absolute junk.I am not a big fan of throwing away stuff, adding to the landfill problem.
That is why, normally, we have just one bag of trash a week. Our paper/cardboard is either recycled, used as weed barrier or composted. Our food scraps are either composted or fed to our animals. Pretty much the only trash we have is plastic stuff. I feel good about that!
I have a loooooong way to go.
I am the only one on board here, still after 2 or 3 months. My dh will not get rid of one thing. Shirts that he has not worn in the entire 8 years that I have known him. Shirts that are too small and are missing more buttons than are there.
My kids will get rid of clothes that do not fit them anymore, but that is about it. Joel refuses to get rid of any toy that he has ever touched.
It's ok, one day at a time,lol.
Josh's x-box broke yesterday. That really stinks.
I shopped for some more landscape plants today, spent 20 bucks and got quite a few things. Josh and I are going to get them planted tomorrow.
Gonna sign off for now.

it is fixed!

My computer is fixed woo hoo!
Tonight is a football game, we are predicted to win-woo hoo!My parents are coming, that is always fun.
Today we got a lot of errands done, hopefully tomorrow will be an easy day. I want to scrap!
I have some housework to get done- see ya.

oh crap

Well, my computer is not fixed, not exactly sure what is going on, but it may be the keyboard. I got a new one and when I get home I am going to see if that is what is up. grrrrrrrrrrrrr

hanging in here............

We have beeng getting some wild storms the past couple of days. We lost power yesterday.
I also thought that there was something wrong w/ my computer, so I took it in and of COURSE, just like taking your car to the mechanic, it is not doing it for him,lol. Well, good news is it did not cost anything, hopefully when I get it home it will work. ( I am at a friends now, waiting on Joel to get done w/ football practice.
My friend Kristie is in the hosptial. She had a horrible kidney infection and had to be admitted. She is not enjoying her stay, but she looks better today. I hope that they are able to send her home tomorrow, so she can rest,lol.
I made her a homemade card, she really enjoyed it. She will be on the list for future homeade projects,lol.
Having trouble w/ my ex again. Mostly financial, although he has stopped calling and seeing the boys. That lasted a whole 5 months this time. Ugh.
My dh and I also got into it because he keeps saying " I don't want to hear it" when I try to vent to him about either my ex or a girlfriend that is kind of driving me crazy. I told him that I should always be able to talk to him about anything. He said he doesn't really mean he doesn't want to hear it. I asked him what he really means, and he explained that I tell him the same old thing over and over and he does not want to hear it. LOL I said, well, sounds like you don't want to hear it, and that is what you are saying and that is what you mean. I don't agree w/ having off limit topics w/ your spouse, and it is bothering me a lot, especially w/ me feeling so lonely lately. I might try that on him, next time he goes on and on about one of his tv shows or a problem from work that I don't particularly care about. I am not much for games, but sometimes it is the only thing he understands.
My mom has those off limit topics w/ me too, w/ regards to my ex. That really frustrates me. It makes me feel alone and like I can not count on these people when I need them. I am going to be pissed off if I have to pay a damn therapist to vent about my ex to,lol. I can not change the situation. It is what it is. I handle it the best I can, and I am raising his children w/o help. But sometimes, I need to vent a little and say things that are not nice. I don't drink or smoke. I can not get lost in the pain that way. I need to talk a little. Sorry to be such a burden to everyflippinone.
Wow, I did not realize how pissed off I was when I started this entry. I honestly could not figure out what I was going to talk about,lol.
I told Chris last night that I was going to count my blessings, because that is usually what brings me out of a funk. I did not do that today, so I will do that here and then close.
1. My parents are a great source of comfort. I will never starve, be homeless or face adversity alone as long as they are on this earth.
2. My kids are healthy, and they are not missing.
3. We will eat dinner tonight, and everyone in my family likes what we are having.
4. I am thankful for my car, even though I spent way too much time today in it,lol.
5. I am thankful for sonic drinks.
6.I was thankful nothing is wrong w/ my computer.
7. I am thankful for having the medication I need.
8. I am thankful for this blog, it sure helped me out today....

Monday

Well, my lss class was a success, and they think I am God's gift to scrapbooking,lol. Neat to have some validation.
Chris is back to pissing me off, he just doesn't get it. I want him to spend time w/ me and spend time as a family. He always has an excuse, and I am tired of them.
I overdid it today, and am already sore,lol better slow down. I did some freezer cooking, made the "guts" of 4 apple pies-yum!
I have a big important meeting tomorrow afternoon, if you are reading, keep me in your thoughts please.
I scrapped Joel's 16th birthday today. Man, 16. What is Joel doing at 16? Learning to drive, playing football, taking AP classes. Eating like there is no tomorrow, or even later today. Taking his pre sat test tomorrow.
What was I doing at 16? It was 1983 and I was boy crazy as all get out. I was dating my future DH, Joel and Josh's dad. I was in marching band, and putting as little effort as possible into passing my classes even though I was very bright. I was not really interested in driving yet, I was kinda scared, plus my boyfriend wanted to take me everywhere,lol. I ate pizza, french fries and diet coke every day at my HS cafeteria for 2.00. I worked at a preschool after school for 3 hrs a day, and usually had something to do at night. I was either babysitting, having youth group at church or marching band. I guess Joel comes by being busy honestly.

title schmitle

I got sidetracked from talking to my friend, and prolly won't talk to her now. I have a few issues on my plate right now and have no time to worry about anyone else,lol.
It is easier NOT to think about her while I am being busy, so it is not on my mind as much.
It is still hot here in az, going to wear shorts to the football game tonight.
It is our HS's homecoming today, and the dance is tomorrow. Joel is taking a girl, he is being so secretive about her, kinda funny. I asked his friend about her and he would not spill.
I love the internet. I liked my life before I had a computer. I was busy, and fufilled. Now I can not imagine a day w/o it. Even when Chris was in the hospital, I did not go more than 3 days w/o checking email, checking my favorite message boards, or looking up information on what they were telling me about Chris.
Today, I looked up directions, information on parenting teens, and of course checked my email, sent some emails and checked the favorite message boards. Tomorrow I will pay some bills online, without having to drive all over, or even use a stamp. I am still technologically impaired but I have learned enough to help myself out,lol.
I am teaching a class at my lss tomorrow, hoping it is a full house ( I am paid by the participant,lol).