a vent/whine

warning you now,lol.
My sister and I had an argument today, that was very very hateful and sad.
My sister and I fought as young girls. I am the oldest, by 3 years. I did not like fighting w/ her then, and I have always done my best to avoid it now that we are adults.
We are very different. I am ok w/that. She really has never been ok w/ that. She believes there is one right way, everything is black and white.I almost always just listen to her and just go ahead and do what I want,lol. I respect her right to have her opinions and her life the way she wants it. If she is judgmental of me, I just shrug and realize it is most likely ignorance on this issue/topic whatever. My poor parents listen to me vent, and just tell me she does not understand real life.
Anyway, today we had a really bad fight. One I am not sure I will ever get over. I can not imagine ever speaking to her again. When I have heard other people say that I always thought they were dramatic. After all, family is way too important to hold grudges.Not talking about abusive or extreme situations, but in cases where family members offend one another. I now see that maybe people are just protecting themselves.
The issue is not important. I was disappointed and concerned about something, and I called her to tell her. She fired back w/ insults, you know, not just "You ugly fat lady"lol but deep, right through the heart insults. The very things she knew would hurt the most. She hurled insult after insult at me. Then she started hurling them at one of my boys. That is when I yelled over her(we were otp) and told her I was done, that I was never going to talk to her again.
I am so sad. We have never been close. We are so different, and I do not like how she treats my parents. I have always longed for a close relationship with her. I tried for a long time, years, to build one. I know that this is not the same as loosing a dh or if we had been close, but I am oh so sad, just sad.
I do not give any merit to her insults. For one, I doubt very seriously she meant them. Two, they are just baseless and untrue. But still, she was way out of line to say them, and I do not see me being able to forget hearing those words come out of her mouth. Her DH called right after and apperantly my sister feels that my saying I never want to speak to her again is the ultimate insult that trumps all insults. Cool. Fine, think that. Maybe it is.
Maybe I can't listen to all her other insults anymore. Maybe I do not want to hear about how she is using my parents anymore. Maybe I don't want to hear how she would never allow her kids to eat what mine do. Maybe I don't want to hear that she does not want to hang around me because of my ill mannered kids. Maybe I don't want to hear how if I want a sister to check w/ my sil. Blah blah blah, sorry, if you are still awake- thanks!