p is for poopy butthead

quick story, one night my 2 ds's, my ex and I were out to dinner ( we were together at the time,lol) and waiting for our food. Josh was 3, Joel was 4. Josh kept getting into stuff, and picked up a steak knife. I took it away from him and handed him a spoon. He looks at me, with a really mean look, square in the eye and says " Poopy Butthead". I know, I am supposed to be shocked, after all, where did he hear that? I did not use that type of language. I was supposed to be mad, after all, how disrespectful! But both his dad and I started laughing hysterically, as did the two tables next to us. The name kind of stuck, and when someone is really mean, we call them a poopy butthead.
For the next few days, I am going to blog about my ex. I try very hard to be a good person, not judge others, blah blah blah. I do not share my feelings about my ex w/ my kids, for obvious reasons. I do not share them often w/ my dh because he gets upset since I am upset. The last time I tried to talk to my mom she says " well, I think you still love him since he makes you angry." Uh, no mom, I am angry about what he does/does not do w/ and for the boys.
He swooped down on us Saturday at 5. I use the word swoop because he just disrupts everything. He does not call first, then expects them to be ready in an instant. He has expectations on their apperance that we just don't have here. They are teenagers and I usually let them decide what to wear/how to do their hair.
He refuses to tell me where they are going. I am the only custodial parent. I do not think that he puts them in physical danger or anything like that. I just think it is strange when I ask" So what are you guys going to be up to?" that he says " None of your buisness"
He also does not like to tell me when he will be bringing them back. That is frustrating.
I honestly might not be as upset as I am but for the fact that he left, and did not contact them in any way for more than 4 years. When he came back into their life, it was because his dad ( a wonderful man) passed away. It was at his funeral, that Joel and Josh found out that their dads GF had had another child w/ someone other than their dad and that he was raising that child as his own. What a kick in the teeth eh?
We are in a current disagreement, and last night when I tried to discuss it w/ him he hung up on me twice. He had said many untrue and negative things about me to my ds's on this last visit. It created a lot of drama over here- drama I do not need. When I called him, I simply asked him to let me know if he has any issues w/ me, rather than putting me in a negative light w/ the boys. That is hurtful to them, and even if he is mad at me I am sure he does not want to hurt them. Well, he hung up, after calling me names ya know? great, just great. The only good thing is karma. He is going to have some bad karma here,lol. All the years that he was missing, I told the boys that their dad loved them and was doing his best. It got to the point that the boys even resented me for saying that, since they knew he wasn't really doing his best. I had to stop defending him, but never once did I say anything bad about their dad. I did/do not do that for him, I do it for THEM.
anyway- more tomorrow