I know you have trust issues...

I was told this, last week. I know you have trust issues with me...but I don't understand why you think I'm lying.

I don't actually have trust issues. You have lying issues.

End. of. story.

"half full"

I was watching Becker one morning. In the show, Dr. Becker gets shot, taken to the hospital. He is complaining about everything. I think to myself, I realize he just got shot, but geez really? Everything is not horrible.

Then, his secretary Linda comes to visit. She tells Margret " He is so lucky, people are bringing him meals, taking care of his needs etc". Margret, with an exasperated look on her face says " LINDA- HE WAS SHOT!!!" and Linda says "oh...yeah"

I remember thinking, I need to be more like Linda. Not forgetting if people get shot of course lol, but in seeing the good in even bad situations.

I am currently going through what I consider to be a bad situation, and I am having a very difficult time seeing the good in the situation.

The actual thing that happened didn't exactly happen to me, it was a call I took at work, that was particularly difficult. I had a physical reaction to the call, which is very unusual for me. I reported that to my supervisor.

I reported it again, and again and again. And even again. I eventually sought help on my own, even though we have 2 fabulous programs through my employer. No one was listening, and I was struggling. The more I said I needed help, the less they listened. Until I finally lost it lol.

But then, it was kinda too late. All of the people who have "done me wrong" have apologized. They recognize the error in their judgement. I want to not be upset, but I am. Because I am still upset, they are mad.

I want to "Linda" this situation. People have more awareness now. People have examined their protocol. People have apologized. I felt alone w/ this call, when in reality I was never alone in the first place. People believe I am strong and can handle this ( and any ) situation. Apperantly, although I am upset, this is true because I did handle it. I am strong.  I have spoken to coworkers that I have a lot of respect for, who have taken the time to describe me, to me. I have really enjoyed hearing how they see me, as a person/employee.

But for right now, I am still Lisa. I have seen people pull together for other coworkers, when they have taken what I perceive to be lesser calls. I have seen the entire department pull together for them. I feel less than. They did not have to handle it alone. I did. Even though I spoke and spoke and yelled and yelled I still had to handle it.

As a woman of faith I just have to try to believe that everything, this call, its outcome, happen for a reason.

Parsons' Family Restaurant. We ate there as a family lots of times. It was our usual Sunday brunch spot. Usually Papa and Uncle Shawn would join us. We ate their for their Friday Fish Fry most Fridays also. Sometimes my parents would join us. Once, even my Grandpa was visiting from Wisconsin, during lent. So off we went to Parsons. They knew us by name. We knew them by name. My boys have no memory of this restaurant. We have some plans of going to visit Glendale, and visit some of the places I used to take them as kids.
Also on the list will be Dazzos, La Rosa if it is still open, and a good walk around downtown Glendale.

Spring Festival of the Arts 2013 :)

The boys and I have been going to the festival of the arts for a few years now. We love to look at all the artists and their unique art, but this year the focus was on food lol. We had funnel cakes, chicken on a stick, and lunch was Fatburgers. We love to go on Fridays, because they put a fried egg on your burger w/o charge. This year they forgot to waive the charge for the egg, so they gave us extra fries. Let's just say when we left, the burgers were not the only things feeling fat ;)

So I am taking this online class, One Little Word, and this was the assignment. I needed to make a "vision board". I decided to dust off some of the canvas that I had purchased when it was all the rage, and never got to making anything with. I had so much fun making it. I am planning to make two more, but w/ paint instead of magazine images. I am much less nervous now to work w/ the canvas than before.

I recently went to Missouri City Tx for a work training. Missouri City is a suburb of Houston. I was so excited to go. During the week, I had some time to visit the Houston Zoo. It was so different than the Phoenix Zoo. One of the animals, this creature in the above picture, really caught my eye. Very unusual lol... Another thing that was really different was their elephant exhibit. They had both adults and babies in the exhibit and just seemed to have a lot of freedom in their exhibit. It was neat to watch. I was really glad to be home. My dad and kids took turns dog/house sitting. Lisa

Last month we had training at work. It included learning about one of the helicopter companies we frequently use. We were told at the beginning of the week that we would have the opportunity to fly in the helicopter. I wanted nothing to do w/ that whatsoever. We go, have some lunch, watch a little presentation and then its time...who wants to go...So groups of two go...I think three before me. Then somewhere...out of nowhere...I asked the other chicken in the group...what if we just go? She was up for it, and so we did! I am proud of myself for having the courage to try something new, something uncomfortable. I got horribly "carsick" but I am really really glad that I went. I did it :)

Josh w/ me on his 22nd birthday

It's been awhile :)

 I think with the facination with facebook, lots of blogs have either gone away completely or like in my case, get updated a lot less frequently. I aim to change that in my case lol.

In January I signed up for Ali Edwards "One Little Word" class.

I have unfortunately become indecisive-almost paralyzed w/ fear of making the wrong decision. Therefore, I just keep doing whatever I have always done.


I have also put on more weight than I care to admit.

So, the word I chose was move. I want to move out of my house, and I have finally ( through months of not making up my mind ) decided that I want to move to Tempe. I also want to move my body a little more, then a little more, and hopefully a little more after that.

This picture was taken in the lobby of the Tempe Chili's during the Tempe Festival of the Arts. There is no other place like Tempe, I think. I feel like I am being pulled there and am no longer going to fight that pull because of fear of making the wrong choice. I am going to use it to motivate me to move toward new/better/exciting things.

Move.

I needed a reminder today...and I found it

There’s no time for regrets. Life is too short for that. Do what you feel you need to do. Love the people around you. Love without having expectations. Give without expecting for anything in return - because that is the greatest gift a person can have.

People are unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered.
Love them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish ulterior motives.
Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some false friends and true enemies.
Succeed anyway.

The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow.
Be good anyway.

Honesty and frankness will make you vulnerable.
Be honest and frank anyway.

What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight.
Build anyway.

People need help, but may attack you if you try to help them.
Help them anyway.

In the final analysis, it is between you and God.
It was never between you and them anyway.

- Mother Theresa -

May

Sometime last month I learned how to make ricotta cheese from scratch...and I have been making it like there is no tomorrow and I can't get enough. I eat it in something almost daily lol... including this pizza. Yum.

So a few weeks after I got the hang of that I made home made yogurt. It is delicious. Waaaay yummier than anything you can buy, less expensive and healthier.

As I was poking around on the internet I found a blogger with a post title "Making your own cheese...Awesome or Amish" and I found that to be hysterical. (Sorry I can not find it again, and can not give her credit) I vote awesome-even though most of my friends already thought I was kinda nutty BEFORE I starting making my own cheese and yogurt lol.

I am pretty sure the people at the store think I have an infant or day care, with the amount of milk I am buying lol.

The boys are staying in Tempe this summer, still rooming together. Joel has one more semester left- I can not believe it. Josh is doing well-I am thrilled.

Today, I am making yogurt, finishing my housework and enjoying the quiet of my home. Lifetime movies are on the agenda for this afternoon and hopefully some scrapbooking, if I can get that room clean lol.

Have a peaceful day!

bullies

I have never really had to deal with bullies as a victim before. When I was teaching, toward the end of my teaching career...those "mean girls" got younger and younger...but even then I did not have to deal with it too often.

But now, as an adult I am dealing with a bully-and I am at a complete loss how to handle it.It is not someone I can stop having contact with. I have tried ignoring, and I have even tried standing up for myself. Neither have worked thus far. I am going to have to adjust my attitude. I can not change what this bully does. I can only change the power I allow the bully to have over how I feel about myself.

Now,recognizing the need to do that is one thing...being able to DO it is another anmial altogether. I have serious doubts about my abilities to do that.

On a brighter note...I have completely fallen in love with making ricotta cheese...and eating ricotta cheese, and cooking with ricotta cheese lol... It is amazing stuff :)

Getting ready to go visit Joel and Josh today. Like when they were younger, the visits are pretty much about food and TV, although I am toying with the idea of moving to Tempe.

Today, I am bringing fresh eggs for them to use while I am not there and some home made bagels. While we are together, we are going to have biscuts and gravy (by request) and peach crisp. We will probably watch a movie, and we are going to check into a couple of houses in some neighborhoods I like. Should be a fun day :)

Lisa

fog

Today I am thankful that I do not have to drive until this goes away :)

quick check in

My favorite guys. Top row- Joel, my Dad, and Josh. Bottom row-my nephew Max. A-freaking-dorable :)


We are back working 12 hr days this week, which really leaves time to drive to work, work, drive home and sleep...which is what I must do now lol.

been awhile

With facebook... and my home computer on the fritz... I haven't been keeping this guy updated. Going to try to do better about that.

Thanksgiving almost here and on graveyard shift...not the easiest way to spend the holidays. I think we have it all worked out though. This year, I took the day before Thanksgiving off, and I am going to go to church at 7pm-then head home to make the pies and rolls. In the morning, when I start to get tired, I am going to pack up all my goodies and head to my moms. I will sleep there till dinner time. Joels girlfriend Lauren is going to come, and bring the guys to my moms. Hopefully that works out for everyone.

I am going to take a picture of Joel Josh and Max for some (secret) gifts for unamed people for Christmas.

I have been working on a 30 days of thanks mini album, and I am trying to think of a family project to do at my moms for Thanksgiving. Hmmm...

Peace,
Lisa

still here

Grouchy cuz life isn't fair,lol...

Honestly, I am mostly doing well... just wondering why, at almost 43 years old... I have not gotten used to the idea that life just isn't fair.

I haven't been able to get many diet chocolate cokes from Sonic, due to my new work schedule, but I have found the frozen coffee at QT and am enjoying that.

Been eating a lot of tuna, chicken and egg salad, cuz its a gabillion degrees out there,lol.

Boys have been coming home every Fri-Mon. Guess they miss me ( or like being fed lol)

stolen- from another blog,lol

I WAS-a preschool teacher for many years, it is still part of my soul.

I AM-getting older,but feeling younger and healthier

I THINK- that this world is filled with some really selfish and thoughtless people.

I WONDER-what life has in store for me next.

I WISH-I had more money.

I SAVE-bits of "stuff" to help remember places I have been.

I ALWAYS-try my best at everything.

I CAN'T-move as quick as I used to,lol.

I BELIEVE- that a little kindness goes a long way.

I PROMISE-to try to treat myself as well as I treat other people.

I LOVE-the Phoenix Zoo.

I SCRAPBOOK-to connect the past to the future and because it is fun.

Shift change

Getting ready to switch from my beloved swing shift...back to day shift. I used to be a morning person...not so much anymore,lol. I am not thrilled w/ my days off- but its just for four months and then I will be doing a different shift.

I have been spending some time lately thinking about where I would like to live "forever" lol. My parents lived in the same house from the time I was 8 mo old until I was 22. I loved living in the same place. I have not been able to do that as an adult, and while I have liked almost everywhere I have lived, I am thinking about "whats next" at this time. I have figured a few things out so far.

One is that I want to stay in Casa Grande. I really really like it. I "know" the people at my Sonic... and at my pharmacy...etc. I just love that kind of thing.

I have also decided that the likelyhood of me getting married again is slim to none,lol. So I have decided that my idea of living on a large piece of land in the boonies is not that realistic for a 40 something old lady w/ RA,lol. I have been looking at some homes in the historic district in town, and am finding several homes that seem to "fit" me. No houses that all look the same- definately no HOA-bigger yards and cross my fingers for a block fence. With the prices of homes so low now, I can get something really nice for about less than half of what I am paying for rent. We will see how it all plays out- but I'm looking around.

I'm still feeling better all the time, had a touch of a cold this week, but the RA stuff is waaay better.

I have not scrapbooked in a really long time! I have been to the zoo 3 times recently- and with my switch to day shift this summer I will be up at the crack of dawn anyway-so I might get a few good trips in this summer too.

still here,lol

Not a lot going on here... starting to get warmer here in AZ. Getting ready to change shifts at work-I will be back on day shift. This is my least favorite shift of all- the nature of calls for service are different, and in my "old age" I have become less of a morning person.

I have also decided that the type of people that work in education are very different than the type of people who work in law enforcement- even w/ dispatch. Or, more appropriately-especially w/ dispatch. I am sure that at one time or another I annoyed another teacher-but I do not recall ever being treated in an unprofessional manner while at work. My good friend, who is a police officer who used to be a teachers' aid reminded me the other day "You're on another playground now" lol. She is right. I am not sure I will ever get used to it-but I am working on adapting, and hopefully showing others' through my example the way to behave professionally while in conflict w/ others.