Josh w/ me on his 22nd birthday

It's been awhile :)

 I think with the facination with facebook, lots of blogs have either gone away completely or like in my case, get updated a lot less frequently. I aim to change that in my case lol.

In January I signed up for Ali Edwards "One Little Word" class.

I have unfortunately become indecisive-almost paralyzed w/ fear of making the wrong decision. Therefore, I just keep doing whatever I have always done.


I have also put on more weight than I care to admit.

So, the word I chose was move. I want to move out of my house, and I have finally ( through months of not making up my mind ) decided that I want to move to Tempe. I also want to move my body a little more, then a little more, and hopefully a little more after that.

This picture was taken in the lobby of the Tempe Chili's during the Tempe Festival of the Arts. There is no other place like Tempe, I think. I feel like I am being pulled there and am no longer going to fight that pull because of fear of making the wrong choice. I am going to use it to motivate me to move toward new/better/exciting things.

Move.

I needed a reminder today...and I found it

There’s no time for regrets. Life is too short for that. Do what you feel you need to do. Love the people around you. Love without having expectations. Give without expecting for anything in return - because that is the greatest gift a person can have.

People are unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered.
Love them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish ulterior motives.
Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some false friends and true enemies.
Succeed anyway.

The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow.
Be good anyway.

Honesty and frankness will make you vulnerable.
Be honest and frank anyway.

What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight.
Build anyway.

People need help, but may attack you if you try to help them.
Help them anyway.

In the final analysis, it is between you and God.
It was never between you and them anyway.

- Mother Theresa -

May

Sometime last month I learned how to make ricotta cheese from scratch...and I have been making it like there is no tomorrow and I can't get enough. I eat it in something almost daily lol... including this pizza. Yum.

So a few weeks after I got the hang of that I made home made yogurt. It is delicious. Waaaay yummier than anything you can buy, less expensive and healthier.

As I was poking around on the internet I found a blogger with a post title "Making your own cheese...Awesome or Amish" and I found that to be hysterical. (Sorry I can not find it again, and can not give her credit) I vote awesome-even though most of my friends already thought I was kinda nutty BEFORE I starting making my own cheese and yogurt lol.

I am pretty sure the people at the store think I have an infant or day care, with the amount of milk I am buying lol.

The boys are staying in Tempe this summer, still rooming together. Joel has one more semester left- I can not believe it. Josh is doing well-I am thrilled.

Today, I am making yogurt, finishing my housework and enjoying the quiet of my home. Lifetime movies are on the agenda for this afternoon and hopefully some scrapbooking, if I can get that room clean lol.

Have a peaceful day!

bullies

I have never really had to deal with bullies as a victim before. When I was teaching, toward the end of my teaching career...those "mean girls" got younger and younger...but even then I did not have to deal with it too often.

But now, as an adult I am dealing with a bully-and I am at a complete loss how to handle it.It is not someone I can stop having contact with. I have tried ignoring, and I have even tried standing up for myself. Neither have worked thus far. I am going to have to adjust my attitude. I can not change what this bully does. I can only change the power I allow the bully to have over how I feel about myself.

Now,recognizing the need to do that is one thing...being able to DO it is another anmial altogether. I have serious doubts about my abilities to do that.

On a brighter note...I have completely fallen in love with making ricotta cheese...and eating ricotta cheese, and cooking with ricotta cheese lol... It is amazing stuff :)

Getting ready to go visit Joel and Josh today. Like when they were younger, the visits are pretty much about food and TV, although I am toying with the idea of moving to Tempe.

Today, I am bringing fresh eggs for them to use while I am not there and some home made bagels. While we are together, we are going to have biscuts and gravy (by request) and peach crisp. We will probably watch a movie, and we are going to check into a couple of houses in some neighborhoods I like. Should be a fun day :)

Lisa

fog

Today I am thankful that I do not have to drive until this goes away :)

quick check in

My favorite guys. Top row- Joel, my Dad, and Josh. Bottom row-my nephew Max. A-freaking-dorable :)


We are back working 12 hr days this week, which really leaves time to drive to work, work, drive home and sleep...which is what I must do now lol.

been awhile

With facebook... and my home computer on the fritz... I haven't been keeping this guy updated. Going to try to do better about that.

Thanksgiving almost here and on graveyard shift...not the easiest way to spend the holidays. I think we have it all worked out though. This year, I took the day before Thanksgiving off, and I am going to go to church at 7pm-then head home to make the pies and rolls. In the morning, when I start to get tired, I am going to pack up all my goodies and head to my moms. I will sleep there till dinner time. Joels girlfriend Lauren is going to come, and bring the guys to my moms. Hopefully that works out for everyone.

I am going to take a picture of Joel Josh and Max for some (secret) gifts for unamed people for Christmas.

I have been working on a 30 days of thanks mini album, and I am trying to think of a family project to do at my moms for Thanksgiving. Hmmm...

Peace,
Lisa

still here

Grouchy cuz life isn't fair,lol...

Honestly, I am mostly doing well... just wondering why, at almost 43 years old... I have not gotten used to the idea that life just isn't fair.

I haven't been able to get many diet chocolate cokes from Sonic, due to my new work schedule, but I have found the frozen coffee at QT and am enjoying that.

Been eating a lot of tuna, chicken and egg salad, cuz its a gabillion degrees out there,lol.

Boys have been coming home every Fri-Mon. Guess they miss me ( or like being fed lol)

stolen- from another blog,lol

I WAS-a preschool teacher for many years, it is still part of my soul.

I AM-getting older,but feeling younger and healthier

I THINK- that this world is filled with some really selfish and thoughtless people.

I WONDER-what life has in store for me next.

I WISH-I had more money.

I SAVE-bits of "stuff" to help remember places I have been.

I ALWAYS-try my best at everything.

I CAN'T-move as quick as I used to,lol.

I BELIEVE- that a little kindness goes a long way.

I PROMISE-to try to treat myself as well as I treat other people.

I LOVE-the Phoenix Zoo.

I SCRAPBOOK-to connect the past to the future and because it is fun.

Shift change

Getting ready to switch from my beloved swing shift...back to day shift. I used to be a morning person...not so much anymore,lol. I am not thrilled w/ my days off- but its just for four months and then I will be doing a different shift.

I have been spending some time lately thinking about where I would like to live "forever" lol. My parents lived in the same house from the time I was 8 mo old until I was 22. I loved living in the same place. I have not been able to do that as an adult, and while I have liked almost everywhere I have lived, I am thinking about "whats next" at this time. I have figured a few things out so far.

One is that I want to stay in Casa Grande. I really really like it. I "know" the people at my Sonic... and at my pharmacy...etc. I just love that kind of thing.

I have also decided that the likelyhood of me getting married again is slim to none,lol. So I have decided that my idea of living on a large piece of land in the boonies is not that realistic for a 40 something old lady w/ RA,lol. I have been looking at some homes in the historic district in town, and am finding several homes that seem to "fit" me. No houses that all look the same- definately no HOA-bigger yards and cross my fingers for a block fence. With the prices of homes so low now, I can get something really nice for about less than half of what I am paying for rent. We will see how it all plays out- but I'm looking around.

I'm still feeling better all the time, had a touch of a cold this week, but the RA stuff is waaay better.

I have not scrapbooked in a really long time! I have been to the zoo 3 times recently- and with my switch to day shift this summer I will be up at the crack of dawn anyway-so I might get a few good trips in this summer too.

still here,lol

Not a lot going on here... starting to get warmer here in AZ. Getting ready to change shifts at work-I will be back on day shift. This is my least favorite shift of all- the nature of calls for service are different, and in my "old age" I have become less of a morning person.

I have also decided that the type of people that work in education are very different than the type of people who work in law enforcement- even w/ dispatch. Or, more appropriately-especially w/ dispatch. I am sure that at one time or another I annoyed another teacher-but I do not recall ever being treated in an unprofessional manner while at work. My good friend, who is a police officer who used to be a teachers' aid reminded me the other day "You're on another playground now" lol. She is right. I am not sure I will ever get used to it-but I am working on adapting, and hopefully showing others' through my example the way to behave professionally while in conflict w/ others.

Doin' Good

Some improvements in the house!

I started taking enebrel almost 2 weeks ago now...I am feeling so so so much better. I no longer feel like I have the flu. I still am having some problems in my wrists and fingers, but almost no problems in my shoulders and knees. My feet feel better also. Some side effects are scary... but not using the medicine was also getting very scary. I have not had anything serious thus far... I get a headache and become itchy... so I started giving myself the injection just before I go to bed, and take tylenol PM about 30 min before the injection. Last weeks worked out pretty good... much less itching and I was asleep so who knows if I had a headache,lol.

Money is still an issue, but since I am feeling better I am going to try to find a way to pick up a PT job, or do something to make a lil extra, and I am going to do some cuts to the non essential budget areas to try to help that out as well.

Today I stopped and grabbed a pint of Ben and Jerrys Ice Cream- my favorite flavor-Coffee Heath Bar Crunch. Its my dinner,lol.

The supervisor that was making me crazy was terminated, so that has made work a lil easier for me. Now I will probably go ahead and apply for that job when the opening becomes available.

Peace

tough time

So I am going to whine. I am feeling like doing it... and since this is my blog... even though I try not to...I am going to do it here.

I am sick. My RA is not responding well to medication, and I am most likely going to have to take something that the side effects scare me as bad as RA does. I also have a related, not often seen type of anemia that is making me feel tired all. the. time. It just really really sucks. I am going to live, and people have it so much worse...but I am sick of being sick.

I have more month than money lol... and that also just really really sucks. I work hard, and I am good at my job... I don't really care about material things...just want enough money to be able to pay my bills and support myself and help my kids the way I have committed to.

I am also getting very frustrated with people. People are very selfish, people are unkind, judgmental and some people really delight in hurting other people. How does that happen? I honestly wake up every day and try to be kind and helpful to everyone... how does someone else wake up and look for ways to hurt people? I don't get it. I am trying to not criticize things I don't understand... but I'm gonna criticize that,lol.

Today's facebook status... in no way related to my whinefest... just thought it was funny... When you start your day...remember that you have the right to remain silent...anything you say can and will be misinterpreted and used against you... haha loveit!

Blessings today include:

an awesome best friend
diet coke w/ chocolate from sonic
good kids who love their mama
good food
satelite television
netflix
an 11 day vacation from work coming up beginning Saturday!

choice

So... since I love my actual job... and I think I am paid appropriately for the work I do, and no matter what I could never find better benefits anywhere else... I have decided to attempt to focus on the things that make me happy about this job and try my best to ignore the things that dont. It will be a tall order, since I try to always do everything 100%. I have to remind myself constantly... accept the things I can not change... I am seeking peace so I need to not be worrying myself w/ things I can not change.

I am going to choose to be happy and positive again. I am going to choose carefully the things that I will allow to concern or bother me.

and...its raining here in az again... what is up w/ that?!

it's Wednesday

so...crazy coworker was terminated. I'm not happy...just relieved.

My kids are still visiting... I realized what was bugging me the most about it... I have really grown to like my alone time. So, since I love my kids, but I enjoy my alone time, I am going to put myself in time out sometimes... and just decompress...at least until they get sick of me,lol.

Started scrapping some pics of my kids' first apartment...they were home at the time and really enjoyed looking at them... they thought i was nuts when I was taking all of these random pictures.

This week, I am just going to take life easy, continue my storm clean up and enjoy the times the kids are visiting.

Long time no talk

Kids have headed back to school... my house is now quiet and all mine again...except for the goofy dogs,lol.

Struggling at work w/ a specific coworker. Can't get it out of my head... it drives me crazy...I don't like it... I wish it wasn't like this. I feel powerless. If I keep letting her be abusive to me...I loose. If I confront her/handle it... I still loose, just in a different way. Its nuts. I know, in my last post I said I believe all things work out the way they supposed to... its just hard...really really hard.
I am just going to get up in the morning and try my best... its all I can do.

It has been raining like crazy here...windier than heck... intense weather...tornado watches in AZ lol...

When I get home, there is some chocolate ice cream waiting for me... I can hardly wait!

well here we are....

on almost the last day of 2009... without much to say,lol.

My sons are still visiting... it is great...and it is not so great... I love them... but they can be really annoying...and I am equally annoying to them... I'm sure.

My job... see, I love love love my job. I never thought I would ever do anything besides teach... and I sure never thought I would love anything else. But I do. However, at this point, I am not loving where I work. I lovingly refer to it as Dysfunction Junction... but its starting to get to me. So...its a conflict. And, not being a big fan of the conflict... it sucks.

However, I have learned that what is a big deal today, will most likely be a little deal later... and probably right around the corner is a different big deal. So, I am gonna hang tough for a bit... and keep reembering the things I love. My actual job duties... my coworkers, the people I speak to frequently, my benefits and of course... that bimonthly pay check,lol.

Today... I made the yummiest chili ever, with my right hand man Josh. We also made those garlic cheesy buttery biscuts... almost heaven.

I am anxiously awaiting my zoo membership card, as is the boys and my parents. I am going to get all of us together... w/ hopefully at least my nephew along for kicks. Hopefully we can get that accomplished in the next 2 weeks or so.

Have a safe and happy new years eve and day!

awwwww....

So my adult children have been visiting a lot during this holiday season. When adult children come to visit, it is wonderful... and horrible,lol.

I am, of course, very glad they visit... sometimes they think I am a maid, which is horrible, cuz... well...I'm not. They are in and out...sometimes they leave messes and forget to close the door. They speak to eachother like soldiers or professional athletes. I am not a big fan of that language... which they do try to curtail... but it still sneaks out.

Today, as we were laying around again, watching Law and Order SVU together... Josh said "Hey Mom... I really like coming home to visit"

I almost cried...and said... I really like having you come home to visit.